Most of us in our lives have a mountain to climb. At some point we ll be faced with something that will test our will. It might not be an actual mountain (to some it may be) but for us its something that looks impossible to overcome at first. Now if you don't have a mountain to climb, life is going to be kind of boring. That means theres nothing in your life to challenge you, and if that's the case how will your best YOU ever come out? When faced with a challenge we either rise to the occasion or fall on our faces. It gives us an opportunity to see what we're actually made of.
Whats your mountain? It might change on a daily basis. Your mountain today might be getting up and running five miles. It might be taking the first step to stop smoking or finally mailing in the college application to start taking steps toward your degree. Whatever the case may be its important to understand how crucial having that mountain in our lives is. This may sound strange to some (except for the people that know me) but I look for new mountains to climb all the time. Right now one of my mountains is playing guitar. Now that might not seem like a huge mountain to some, but if you take a guy who played trombone in middle school and no instrument since and then put a guitar in his hands you'll see what mountain climbing is all about.
I love challenges. I love standing at the base of the mountain, looking up at it and thinking, this is going to be tough. It's a special feeling when you accomplish something that you didn't even think was possible. And at that moment it doesn't matter if a thousand people saw you do it or if you're all alone, you climbed a mountain that you never thought you could, and that's one of the most gratifying feelings in the world.
We live in a society that loves its hero's. Every other movie that comes out in theaters has one, why not be your own. The definition of a hero is the following "a man/woman of distinguished courage or ability, admired for his/her brave deeds or noble qualities". I think the most important word in this definition is courage. That's what you need to climb a mountain. Courage gives you the will to want to face that challenge, no matter how big the mountain is.
"Sometimes in life its not about how you finish, or when you finish, sometimes its just about finishing!"
Failure is not defined by whether or not you reach the top of the mountain, failure is not trying to climb it at all.
Saturday, November 20, 2010
Saturday, November 13, 2010
TIME
Life can be summed up by just using some simple math.
168 hours in a week
672 hours in a month
8,064 hours in a year
And this last number might surprise you just as much as it did me. Say we live until we're 80 years old which is a pretty long life. This is the amount of time we're on this earth.
645,120 hours
That's it. Doesn't seem like a lot does it? At first I was thinking at the very least we'd be on this earth for a million hours. But I wasn't close. Now some people live past the age of 80 and hopefully we all live well into our hundreds but the average life expectancy is around 80 years old. So it poses a good question for us. How are living our lives?? Are we happy? Are we making the most of every day? Are we wasting time feeling sorry for ourselves? Are we waiting for the clock to run out or are we seizing each day that we have on earth?
"Tomorrow will eventually come and yesterday has already passed so concentrate on today and make the most of it"
Me and one of my friends were talking about facebook status's (true story) the other day. If you want to start your day off feeling depressed just read some of your friends postings. "FML" "I hate Mondays" "Work sucks" "Just broke up with my boyfriend/girlfriend I feel so lost" "Wish everything can fade to black" "I hate everyone don't message me". Some of these are obviously cries for help but is life really that bad? I've talked before about how theres always someone in a situation worse than your own, and some of those people are trying to make the most out of the hand they were dealt and improve their situation. Why waste time feeling sorry for yourself? Are Mondays that bad? How about when we didn't have Mondays? When there was no calendar did cavemen wake up one day grumpier than another day? I don't get it and I don't think I ever will. Mondays to me mean I have another day on this earth to improve on the last one.
Now that doesn't mean we don't have bad days, everyone does. But a bad day sometimes turns into a bad week and then a bad month and the next thing you know you're having a horrible year. Don't waste time sweating the small stuff. When you wake up be happy that you just accomplished something that about 145,000 other people didn't do that morning. (that's around the number of people who die each day around the world) I'm positive some of them would love to be in your situation right now.
"There are no guarantees in life except for how you decide to live it."
As we get older we start to reflect back on our lives, we start saying things like "If only i would of did this when I was younger" or "I wish I would of put more time into this". Well what if we started doing some of those things now while we can. You don't have to be 80 to have a bucket list. Start writing down things that you want to do or places that you want to see in your lifetime. I've never been to Europe before and until recently I never really had any interest in going but now I ask myself, how could I not go? I would love to see the history that I've always read about in school and get a chance to experience different cultures. So that one is up on the list.
"Time will make dreams become memories."
Enjoy your life. Even the most difficult times have a silver lining, and maybe that silver lining is that you got a chance to live another day.
168 hours in a week
672 hours in a month
8,064 hours in a year
And this last number might surprise you just as much as it did me. Say we live until we're 80 years old which is a pretty long life. This is the amount of time we're on this earth.
645,120 hours
That's it. Doesn't seem like a lot does it? At first I was thinking at the very least we'd be on this earth for a million hours. But I wasn't close. Now some people live past the age of 80 and hopefully we all live well into our hundreds but the average life expectancy is around 80 years old. So it poses a good question for us. How are living our lives?? Are we happy? Are we making the most of every day? Are we wasting time feeling sorry for ourselves? Are we waiting for the clock to run out or are we seizing each day that we have on earth?
"Tomorrow will eventually come and yesterday has already passed so concentrate on today and make the most of it"
Me and one of my friends were talking about facebook status's (true story) the other day. If you want to start your day off feeling depressed just read some of your friends postings. "FML" "I hate Mondays" "Work sucks" "Just broke up with my boyfriend/girlfriend I feel so lost" "Wish everything can fade to black" "I hate everyone don't message me". Some of these are obviously cries for help but is life really that bad? I've talked before about how theres always someone in a situation worse than your own, and some of those people are trying to make the most out of the hand they were dealt and improve their situation. Why waste time feeling sorry for yourself? Are Mondays that bad? How about when we didn't have Mondays? When there was no calendar did cavemen wake up one day grumpier than another day? I don't get it and I don't think I ever will. Mondays to me mean I have another day on this earth to improve on the last one.
Now that doesn't mean we don't have bad days, everyone does. But a bad day sometimes turns into a bad week and then a bad month and the next thing you know you're having a horrible year. Don't waste time sweating the small stuff. When you wake up be happy that you just accomplished something that about 145,000 other people didn't do that morning. (that's around the number of people who die each day around the world) I'm positive some of them would love to be in your situation right now.
"There are no guarantees in life except for how you decide to live it."
As we get older we start to reflect back on our lives, we start saying things like "If only i would of did this when I was younger" or "I wish I would of put more time into this". Well what if we started doing some of those things now while we can. You don't have to be 80 to have a bucket list. Start writing down things that you want to do or places that you want to see in your lifetime. I've never been to Europe before and until recently I never really had any interest in going but now I ask myself, how could I not go? I would love to see the history that I've always read about in school and get a chance to experience different cultures. So that one is up on the list.
"Time will make dreams become memories."
Enjoy your life. Even the most difficult times have a silver lining, and maybe that silver lining is that you got a chance to live another day.
Saturday, November 6, 2010
RAY
Mentor: A wise an trusted counselor or teacher.
It would be tough for anyone to say in this day and age that they went through life without having anyone they looked up to, or that they've never had someone help them a long the way. I was thinking about all the people throughout my life that have helped me on my own personal journey and have also help mold me into the person that I am today. Most were good influences but some were also bad, and from the latter I learned attributes like mental toughness, dealing with adversity, and believing in myself even when others don't.
Out of all my mentors I have to say that one continues to stick out in my mind. Mentors usually are around in someones life for an extended period of time. Your english teacher in high school, your college football coach, or maybe your first boss. But my first mentor was only with me for about 6 hours. Granted I saw him throughout a year period from time to time but it was only 2 days, 1 in particular that I will never forget and those days ignited a spark in me that has shaped my life and at that time completely changed my path.
As I touched on in earlier blogs, I started playing basketball at the age of 16. Which is a very late age. We train kids right now as young as 8 years old and I'm sure some of them have better skill than I did at 16. No one in my family played basketball so when I decided to start trying I didn't have anyone to show me the ropes. So I decided to be my own coach. I would walk down to the basketball court about 2 miles away from my house and throw the ball at the orange circle (i found out later it was called a rim) and pray that the ball from time to time would go in. Needless to say I didn't have great success doing that right away.
One Saturday during one of my "shooting sessions" it started to drizzle a little bit. I had a 2 mile walk home in the rain anyway (this was the age of pay phones, no way to call mommy to come get me) so I decided I might as well stay and continue to shoot. Across the street from the park I was shooting at, were some houses and behind them woods. Literally like out of a movie my first basketball mentor came walking towards the court. He introduced himself and said his name was Ray. He asked me if I would mind if he showed me a couple of things. I couldn't believe it!! After I got over the fact that Ray magically appeared out of the woods, I couldn't believe he was going to actually show me how to play.
"Theres no shame in asking someone for help that has traveled the road you have yet to discover"
Ray was probably in his mid thirties at that time, he was a 5 foot 10 Asian guy, and completely different looking than the guys I watched playing on T.V. For the next 2 hours Ray showed me everything he knew about shooting. He told me that I had to flick my wrist down when I shoot, how to hold the basketball, he talked to me about different basketball terminology. I found out that when I spaztically dribble to the basket and jump to put it in its called a "lay up". I was amazed how much patience he had with me. I knew I wasn't good and he did to but he praised me for every little thing I did right. He never said anything negative when I did mess up, he just showed me the right way to do it.
After me and Ray worked out I practically glided home. I had this old run down hoop that I tried to put up in my driveway and when I got back I continued to work on what Ray had showed me. Over and over I could hear his voice as I shot, missed, watched the ball roll down the hill and ran after it. I repeated that process for another 2 hours. I was hooked, I had someone that believed in me. I wanted to learn everything I could about the game of basketball but more importantly I wanted to make sure that when Ray saw me next time he could tell that I've been working on what he showed me.
About a week went by before I saw Ray again. He could tell that I've been working on what he showed me and he had the most genuine smile on his face as I tried to show him that I was. It's probably the smile that teachers have when a kid thats struggling works really hard and gets an A, or when a coach has a player that he never thought would make it on the team, and the next year he or she does.
Sometimes people come in and out of our lives at the perfect time. I think the combination of Ray's patience and my desire to learn is what made it work. For Ray to do such a selfless act for someone he had never met says a lot about the kind of person that he is. That push made me want to get better and in turn set me on a path that I might not of discovered until later on, if ever.
"Your impact on this world should be measured not by how much money you made but how many people you affected in a positive way."
I only saw Ray about five more times after that. It was usually in a pick up game, and every time I would see him he would tell me how much I had improved since the first time we met. Granted I knew that I still had a long way to go but for him to say that meant a lot to me, and also made me strive to get even better. As the years passed I found out that Ray was a mailman in the area, and that he also lived right down the road from the court (which explained how he just appeared out of nowhere)
After I got out of high school and went to junior college, my basketball game started getting a lot better. At this point I had a number of people that I came across that had helped me with my game at some point or another. But I always found myself thinking about Ray and our first lesson. When I received a full scholarship to play at a four year college Ray again was on my mind. About a week after I got the scholarship I was in the mall, as I was walking I looked and saw Ray walking right towards me. I couldn't believe it. I hadn't seen him in 4 years and here he was right in front of me a week after I just signed a full scholarship to play the sport he first taught me. I introduced myself right away (even though he remembered me) and told him all about the scholarship. I was so excited I don't know how much of my sentence was even coming out the right way. He smiled just like he did when we first met and told me, "I knew you would make it".
As I thanked him again and started walking away I wondered if he knew the impact that he had on my life. I had no idea if he fully understood what those few sessions did for me. My life now consist of coaching and training kids. I do what Ray did for me every day. Sometimes parents are amazed with how much time I put into working with their child no matter what his/her skill level is. A big reason is that I will never forget that someone did the same for me, and that person will forever be in my heart because of it.
Maybe one day one of the kids I work with will say that I was the reason that they got into coaching or training kids. Or maybe they'll just see me in the mall one day and thank me for changing their lives. I couldn't think of anything more rewarding than that.
"When you re gone what legacy will you leave behind? Did you spend your whole life helping or wanting to be helped"?
It would be tough for anyone to say in this day and age that they went through life without having anyone they looked up to, or that they've never had someone help them a long the way. I was thinking about all the people throughout my life that have helped me on my own personal journey and have also help mold me into the person that I am today. Most were good influences but some were also bad, and from the latter I learned attributes like mental toughness, dealing with adversity, and believing in myself even when others don't.
Out of all my mentors I have to say that one continues to stick out in my mind. Mentors usually are around in someones life for an extended period of time. Your english teacher in high school, your college football coach, or maybe your first boss. But my first mentor was only with me for about 6 hours. Granted I saw him throughout a year period from time to time but it was only 2 days, 1 in particular that I will never forget and those days ignited a spark in me that has shaped my life and at that time completely changed my path.
As I touched on in earlier blogs, I started playing basketball at the age of 16. Which is a very late age. We train kids right now as young as 8 years old and I'm sure some of them have better skill than I did at 16. No one in my family played basketball so when I decided to start trying I didn't have anyone to show me the ropes. So I decided to be my own coach. I would walk down to the basketball court about 2 miles away from my house and throw the ball at the orange circle (i found out later it was called a rim) and pray that the ball from time to time would go in. Needless to say I didn't have great success doing that right away.
One Saturday during one of my "shooting sessions" it started to drizzle a little bit. I had a 2 mile walk home in the rain anyway (this was the age of pay phones, no way to call mommy to come get me) so I decided I might as well stay and continue to shoot. Across the street from the park I was shooting at, were some houses and behind them woods. Literally like out of a movie my first basketball mentor came walking towards the court. He introduced himself and said his name was Ray. He asked me if I would mind if he showed me a couple of things. I couldn't believe it!! After I got over the fact that Ray magically appeared out of the woods, I couldn't believe he was going to actually show me how to play.
"Theres no shame in asking someone for help that has traveled the road you have yet to discover"
Ray was probably in his mid thirties at that time, he was a 5 foot 10 Asian guy, and completely different looking than the guys I watched playing on T.V. For the next 2 hours Ray showed me everything he knew about shooting. He told me that I had to flick my wrist down when I shoot, how to hold the basketball, he talked to me about different basketball terminology. I found out that when I spaztically dribble to the basket and jump to put it in its called a "lay up". I was amazed how much patience he had with me. I knew I wasn't good and he did to but he praised me for every little thing I did right. He never said anything negative when I did mess up, he just showed me the right way to do it.
After me and Ray worked out I practically glided home. I had this old run down hoop that I tried to put up in my driveway and when I got back I continued to work on what Ray had showed me. Over and over I could hear his voice as I shot, missed, watched the ball roll down the hill and ran after it. I repeated that process for another 2 hours. I was hooked, I had someone that believed in me. I wanted to learn everything I could about the game of basketball but more importantly I wanted to make sure that when Ray saw me next time he could tell that I've been working on what he showed me.
About a week went by before I saw Ray again. He could tell that I've been working on what he showed me and he had the most genuine smile on his face as I tried to show him that I was. It's probably the smile that teachers have when a kid thats struggling works really hard and gets an A, or when a coach has a player that he never thought would make it on the team, and the next year he or she does.
Sometimes people come in and out of our lives at the perfect time. I think the combination of Ray's patience and my desire to learn is what made it work. For Ray to do such a selfless act for someone he had never met says a lot about the kind of person that he is. That push made me want to get better and in turn set me on a path that I might not of discovered until later on, if ever.
"Your impact on this world should be measured not by how much money you made but how many people you affected in a positive way."
I only saw Ray about five more times after that. It was usually in a pick up game, and every time I would see him he would tell me how much I had improved since the first time we met. Granted I knew that I still had a long way to go but for him to say that meant a lot to me, and also made me strive to get even better. As the years passed I found out that Ray was a mailman in the area, and that he also lived right down the road from the court (which explained how he just appeared out of nowhere)
After I got out of high school and went to junior college, my basketball game started getting a lot better. At this point I had a number of people that I came across that had helped me with my game at some point or another. But I always found myself thinking about Ray and our first lesson. When I received a full scholarship to play at a four year college Ray again was on my mind. About a week after I got the scholarship I was in the mall, as I was walking I looked and saw Ray walking right towards me. I couldn't believe it. I hadn't seen him in 4 years and here he was right in front of me a week after I just signed a full scholarship to play the sport he first taught me. I introduced myself right away (even though he remembered me) and told him all about the scholarship. I was so excited I don't know how much of my sentence was even coming out the right way. He smiled just like he did when we first met and told me, "I knew you would make it".
As I thanked him again and started walking away I wondered if he knew the impact that he had on my life. I had no idea if he fully understood what those few sessions did for me. My life now consist of coaching and training kids. I do what Ray did for me every day. Sometimes parents are amazed with how much time I put into working with their child no matter what his/her skill level is. A big reason is that I will never forget that someone did the same for me, and that person will forever be in my heart because of it.
Maybe one day one of the kids I work with will say that I was the reason that they got into coaching or training kids. Or maybe they'll just see me in the mall one day and thank me for changing their lives. I couldn't think of anything more rewarding than that.
"When you re gone what legacy will you leave behind? Did you spend your whole life helping or wanting to be helped"?
Saturday, October 30, 2010
CHILDHOOD DREAMS
Think back as far as you can, do you remember your parents or teachers asking you the question, What do you want to be when you grow up? What was your answer back then? And more importantly are you doing what you've always wanted to do? Now don't get me wrong as you grow older and learn more about the world your views change on what you think is a good career and also what you want to accomplish in your life. They're not to many 25 year olds that still want to be a superhero (some but not many).
One of the things that amazes me about children is their ability to dream with their eyes open. All of us (including animals) dream when we go to sleep, but when we wake up we go back to "reality".
Children on the other hand are always dreaming, even after they wake up.
When you ask a child what he or she wants to be when they grow up, their answers can go anywhere from
a normal job (nurse,doctor) to an outrageous one (lion tamer,superman) but no matter what theres a level of confidence and certainty that when they get older that's what they'll be doing. And in a lot of cases theres no talking them out of it!
I had dinner with some friends the other night and we were talking about doing what you love every day in terms of a career. One of my friends has always wanted to be an umpire for major league baseball. At the moment he's working a regular 9 to 5, but when I saw his face light up as he talked about being an umpire I immediately thought, why aren't you doing this now? This is what you were meant to be!!
As we talked more about it I realized that as we get older we allow things to keep us from doing what we're passionate about. Not enough money, girlfriend/boyfriend doesn't agree with it, its to far away, what if I fail? These are all self imposed obstacles. We get in our own way. When we're younger we don't have any obstacles because we truly believe that we can do whatever we dream of.
So what do we do? We wait. We wait for the perfect situation to happen. We wait for all the stars to align to make sure theres a zero chance of failure. We wait to finally get out of our relationship with our boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife so we can start living the life we want. But what if its to late by then? What if the window of opportunity has already passed? Then what?
"Time will make dreams become memories act now"
Career wise I'm the luckiest man on the earth and every day I wake up I tell myself that. I get up and coach basketball and train kids everyday. When I was younger I didn't dream to be anything because I didn't find what I loved until my junior year of high school and that's when the "active dreaming" began. That's when I said to myself, I want to do basketball for the rest of my life. When you opened my notebooks there were pictures of a guy shooting hoops (mostly stick figures i cant draw to save my life) or just the word basketball and my jersey number.
I knew for a fact that I couldn't sit in an office all day and work. I wouldn't survive, I probably couldn't live more than a month that way. I think about coaching basketball and it's amazing to me how much money some of these upper echelon coaches make. Compared to these guys i've been doing my job for the last 7 years practically for free and I love every minute of it.
If bills weren't an option, could you wake up and do your job every day and live a happy and fulfilling life for free? Or would you get out of there so fast your name plate would still be on your desk as you sprinted towards the door?
"Waking up doesn't mean that your dreams are over, it just means that now you can physically work towards making them come true."
We over complicate enough things in our lives already, our dreams shouldn't be one of them
One of the things that amazes me about children is their ability to dream with their eyes open. All of us (including animals) dream when we go to sleep, but when we wake up we go back to "reality".
Children on the other hand are always dreaming, even after they wake up.
When you ask a child what he or she wants to be when they grow up, their answers can go anywhere from
a normal job (nurse,doctor) to an outrageous one (lion tamer,superman) but no matter what theres a level of confidence and certainty that when they get older that's what they'll be doing. And in a lot of cases theres no talking them out of it!
I had dinner with some friends the other night and we were talking about doing what you love every day in terms of a career. One of my friends has always wanted to be an umpire for major league baseball. At the moment he's working a regular 9 to 5, but when I saw his face light up as he talked about being an umpire I immediately thought, why aren't you doing this now? This is what you were meant to be!!
As we talked more about it I realized that as we get older we allow things to keep us from doing what we're passionate about. Not enough money, girlfriend/boyfriend doesn't agree with it, its to far away, what if I fail? These are all self imposed obstacles. We get in our own way. When we're younger we don't have any obstacles because we truly believe that we can do whatever we dream of.
So what do we do? We wait. We wait for the perfect situation to happen. We wait for all the stars to align to make sure theres a zero chance of failure. We wait to finally get out of our relationship with our boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife so we can start living the life we want. But what if its to late by then? What if the window of opportunity has already passed? Then what?
"Time will make dreams become memories act now"
Career wise I'm the luckiest man on the earth and every day I wake up I tell myself that. I get up and coach basketball and train kids everyday. When I was younger I didn't dream to be anything because I didn't find what I loved until my junior year of high school and that's when the "active dreaming" began. That's when I said to myself, I want to do basketball for the rest of my life. When you opened my notebooks there were pictures of a guy shooting hoops (mostly stick figures i cant draw to save my life) or just the word basketball and my jersey number.
I knew for a fact that I couldn't sit in an office all day and work. I wouldn't survive, I probably couldn't live more than a month that way. I think about coaching basketball and it's amazing to me how much money some of these upper echelon coaches make. Compared to these guys i've been doing my job for the last 7 years practically for free and I love every minute of it.
If bills weren't an option, could you wake up and do your job every day and live a happy and fulfilling life for free? Or would you get out of there so fast your name plate would still be on your desk as you sprinted towards the door?
"Waking up doesn't mean that your dreams are over, it just means that now you can physically work towards making them come true."
We over complicate enough things in our lives already, our dreams shouldn't be one of them
Saturday, October 23, 2010
SACRIFICE
It's hard to find an exact definition of the word sacrifice. It can mean so many different things. From "a loss incurred in selling something below its value" to "surrender or give up or permit injury or disadvantage to". The actual definition can sometimes get lost in translation. None of the definitions that I discovered were the kind of sacrifice I wanted to write about. Then I came across a poster with a picture of a chess board, and on that board was a single white pawn (the most disposable piece in the game of chess) and in front of that pawn was every chess piece in black (from pawns to the most powerful chess pieces) and on the poster the word sacrifice was underneath it with these words:
"Your role may be thankless, but if you re willing to give it your all, you might just bring success to those who outlast you."
Now that stuck with me more than any definition that I could look up in a dictionary. In the poster the pawn knows that for the greater good he has to be sacrificed, and may set up an opening not for him to win but the other pieces on his side to. That's a powerful image. In my life I have been faced with so many situations where I've had to sacrifice for the greater good of others.
Growing up in a single family home with 4 siblings I was fortunate to be able to see sacrifice on an every day basis. Some people might think, why do you feel fortunate for growing up that way? My response to them would be, because it shaped who I am today. It made me appreciate every little thing that I was given, and also appreciate the people who gave it to me.
I was brought up in a "no whiners allowed" household. How could I complain about not wanting to take the garbage out when my mom just came home from her third job? How could I possibly gripe about not getting the best pair of sneakers if I knew for me to get them one of my brothers might have to go without?
I wouldn't trade my upbringing for anyone elses in the whole world. Because it made me realize that sometimes sacrifices have to be made for the better of the family and that message has stuck with me throughout my life.
Now there are different levels of sacrifice. Me giving up on getting a new pair of Nike's is not the same as the sacrifice that Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi went through but its still a selfless act. These days it seems like everyone feels a sense of entitlement. I deserve to be a CEO of a fortune 500 company or I deserve to land this job just because I showed up. Not a lot of people want to go through the sacrifice it takes to be successful.
In college my big sacrifice was not going to parties and getting drunk every night. Now anyone that knows me knows that I ve never been into drinking and have never done a drug in my life. When I started playing basketball I knew that to accomplish my goal (which was to play professionally) I couldn't waste time doing things that would not only hurt my game but also possibly get me in some trouble. So when my friends would go to parties I'd go to the gym and workout. The next morning I felt great while some of my teammates were still trying to justify why they accidentally wet the bed, again.
Your sacrifice can be something small or something that's on a greater scale. If you re trying to lose some weight your sacrifice might be driving past the golden arches and not right to them! If you re trying to make a sports team it might mean sacrificing some of your social life to put in extra work at the gym. Maybe you re in a relationship and your girlfriend or wife might want to go see a "notebook" type chick flick and you'd rather watch Rocky 6. No matter what the case is you're making a sacrifice.
"Figure out what you want, and then ask yourself if you're willing to put the blood, sweat, and tears in to get it"
If you can look in the mirror and say I'm doing everything in my power to reach my goals then theres no reason to hold your head down if for some reason you don't accomplish them right away. If you're not maybe your not sacrificing enough to make it happen, or maybe you're just waiting for it to happen for you, if its the latter then you have a long road ahead.
"Your role may be thankless, but if you re willing to give it your all, you might just bring success to those who outlast you."
Now that stuck with me more than any definition that I could look up in a dictionary. In the poster the pawn knows that for the greater good he has to be sacrificed, and may set up an opening not for him to win but the other pieces on his side to. That's a powerful image. In my life I have been faced with so many situations where I've had to sacrifice for the greater good of others.
Growing up in a single family home with 4 siblings I was fortunate to be able to see sacrifice on an every day basis. Some people might think, why do you feel fortunate for growing up that way? My response to them would be, because it shaped who I am today. It made me appreciate every little thing that I was given, and also appreciate the people who gave it to me.
I was brought up in a "no whiners allowed" household. How could I complain about not wanting to take the garbage out when my mom just came home from her third job? How could I possibly gripe about not getting the best pair of sneakers if I knew for me to get them one of my brothers might have to go without?
I wouldn't trade my upbringing for anyone elses in the whole world. Because it made me realize that sometimes sacrifices have to be made for the better of the family and that message has stuck with me throughout my life.
Now there are different levels of sacrifice. Me giving up on getting a new pair of Nike's is not the same as the sacrifice that Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi went through but its still a selfless act. These days it seems like everyone feels a sense of entitlement. I deserve to be a CEO of a fortune 500 company or I deserve to land this job just because I showed up. Not a lot of people want to go through the sacrifice it takes to be successful.
In college my big sacrifice was not going to parties and getting drunk every night. Now anyone that knows me knows that I ve never been into drinking and have never done a drug in my life. When I started playing basketball I knew that to accomplish my goal (which was to play professionally) I couldn't waste time doing things that would not only hurt my game but also possibly get me in some trouble. So when my friends would go to parties I'd go to the gym and workout. The next morning I felt great while some of my teammates were still trying to justify why they accidentally wet the bed, again.
Your sacrifice can be something small or something that's on a greater scale. If you re trying to lose some weight your sacrifice might be driving past the golden arches and not right to them! If you re trying to make a sports team it might mean sacrificing some of your social life to put in extra work at the gym. Maybe you re in a relationship and your girlfriend or wife might want to go see a "notebook" type chick flick and you'd rather watch Rocky 6. No matter what the case is you're making a sacrifice.
"Figure out what you want, and then ask yourself if you're willing to put the blood, sweat, and tears in to get it"
If you can look in the mirror and say I'm doing everything in my power to reach my goals then theres no reason to hold your head down if for some reason you don't accomplish them right away. If you're not maybe your not sacrificing enough to make it happen, or maybe you're just waiting for it to happen for you, if its the latter then you have a long road ahead.
Saturday, October 16, 2010
GOALS
A person without goals is a person without direction. When you have goals you have something that keeps you motivated to stay on the path that you're on or motivates you to choose a new path that works for you. Goals can be however big or small you want. It can be anything from getting a new job by the end of the year or making sure that you finally start the term paper that is due tomorrow. Whatever your goals may be its important to have them.
When you do make a goal its important that you make it specific. Saying to yourself that you want to be a millionaire isn't enough. How are you going to go about being a millionaire? Whats your plan of attack?
Do you believe that you can accomplish it.? Next you need to write it down somewhere so that from time to time you ll be able to see it. Lastly you need to ask yourself a very important question
"Are you willing to put the work in to achieve this goal"?
Working with kids, the first thing I ask them is what their goals are for basketball. Some say that they just want to make their high school team, others say that they want to play in college, and some have even said that they want to play professional basketball. Once I know what their goals are it gives me a good idea how hard they should be working to achieve it.
If your goal is to get a new job how hard are you actually looking for one? Are you up every day scanning the classified ads, or are you sitting back and waiting for that job to find you? Be proactive in making things happen in your life. It sounds simple enough so why don't we do it? That's a question you have to ask yourself. Whats holding you back from accomplishing what you want out of life? A better question might be do you know what you want out of life? And if you do then go get it! How long are you going to wait before you start your journey?
"When your goals are your own and not someone elses they feel that much better when you complete them."
This quote I feel is another important key in making your goals come true. Don't let anyone make goals for you that you don't want yourself. Only you can live your life, so only you should be able to determine what goals you're willing to tackle and which ones you aren't.
Be honest with yourself, make your goals specific, write them down, put the work in, and most importantly make them your own.
When you do make a goal its important that you make it specific. Saying to yourself that you want to be a millionaire isn't enough. How are you going to go about being a millionaire? Whats your plan of attack?
Do you believe that you can accomplish it.? Next you need to write it down somewhere so that from time to time you ll be able to see it. Lastly you need to ask yourself a very important question
"Are you willing to put the work in to achieve this goal"?
Working with kids, the first thing I ask them is what their goals are for basketball. Some say that they just want to make their high school team, others say that they want to play in college, and some have even said that they want to play professional basketball. Once I know what their goals are it gives me a good idea how hard they should be working to achieve it.
If your goal is to get a new job how hard are you actually looking for one? Are you up every day scanning the classified ads, or are you sitting back and waiting for that job to find you? Be proactive in making things happen in your life. It sounds simple enough so why don't we do it? That's a question you have to ask yourself. Whats holding you back from accomplishing what you want out of life? A better question might be do you know what you want out of life? And if you do then go get it! How long are you going to wait before you start your journey?
"When your goals are your own and not someone elses they feel that much better when you complete them."
This quote I feel is another important key in making your goals come true. Don't let anyone make goals for you that you don't want yourself. Only you can live your life, so only you should be able to determine what goals you're willing to tackle and which ones you aren't.
Be honest with yourself, make your goals specific, write them down, put the work in, and most importantly make them your own.
Saturday, October 9, 2010
OTTO KUMETZ
Last year for the first time since November 17, 1979 I went to visit my fathers headstone. I have no idea what possessed me that day to finally try and find my father but like a lot of things in my life sometimes I "just go for it" and figure out the rest later on.
My whole life I have heard hundreds of stories about my father. I was very young when he passed away so I grew up not knowing if the memories I had of him were my own or influenced by a story my mom or one of my older brothers told me. Nonetheless I gathered that he was a great man. My father was a police officer in the city of Passaic (where we lived at the time) and walked the beat. Back then police officers would actually walk around and get to know the people in the neighborhood, and this is where my fathers "greatness" went into action. Besides being about 6ft 2 and 260lbs of all muscle my father stuck out in other ways, he was fluent in spanish, treated people fair, and cared a lot about kids.
He started a program for kids in the city of Passaic to have a way to stay off the streets. It was called "Doin it in the park". Kids would come and play different sports, they d have music playing, give out free lunches, and help people that might not have the means to survive without some assistance. His work in the community was to the point where even to this day the city of Passaic presents a Bobby Thomas award to the officer that does exemplary work in the community.
"When you re gone what legacy will you leave behind? Did you spend your whole life helping or wanting to be helped"?
I've always wondered why we never went to visit my fathers headstone, but I never asked my mom. I felt like she must of had her reasons. Knowing my mom like I do, I assume it was because she wanted to remember my father how he was. So growing up it wasn't discussed. My oldest brother Robert was 17 when my father passed. He's technically my half brother which to me just means we didn't grow up in the same house. He has done a great job filling in some of the blanks for me and It's always amazed me how similar I have become to the man that I barely knew. My way with kids and from what I ve been told the way I interact with people no matter their race, religion, etc is a lot like my dad.
So this one day I decided that I will go alone (not great at being emotional, especially in a group setting) and find my fathers headstone. I didn't know what I was going to say, I wasn't sure if I'd cry (at that point I haven't cried in more than a decade) I just knew that I would go and I guess whatever was meant to happen would happen. When I got to the cemetery there were a lot of thoughts rushing through my mind. My mom and brother went a long time ago to visit (i was away at college) and they weren't sure of the location of the headstone. So when I got there I went inside and talked to the person working and asked if they could look up where my father was buried. It took me an hour to find him, the one thing that I wasn't aware of is there was not headstone for my father. I had no idea, I wasn't told, and I kept going back and forth between the cemetery and the office to get directions. Finally the guy working (who must of thought I was a little on the slow side) revealed this information to me.
He told me that my father was right next to a headstone that read Otto Kumetz. So that's who I went to look for. The name just stuck with me as I walked in the rain. First it was the name Otto which is obviously not the most common name in the list of 100 best baby names. Then it was the thought that this was the person that has been next to my father since his death and will be forever and that's what hit me the hardest. I found Otto Kumetz a short time after I received my last set of directions and saw the space to his left and realized I was looking at where my father was buried. I didn't cry, I just stood there, part of me was angry at Otto for having a headstone and my father not having one. I wondered if Otto knew who he was next to. If he had any idea how great of a man my father was, and out of nowhere I got choked up and a tear came down my cheek. I only stayed for about 20 minutes or so (once I found my way) I mumbled something to my father, got in my car, and started driving home.
On the ride back I turned off the radio and thought about my dad and also Otto. They are roommates for eternity and I know that if my dad ever met Otto they d be friends. It seems like my dad just had that way about him. I got home and looked for Otto online and found some things about an artist etc (obviously with no clue if it was the Otto I was looking for) I'm planning on going down again at some point to say hello to both my father and Otto.
I feel like we don't have a lot of time on this earth, and our parents usually have about a twenty five year head start on us when we arrive. I consider myself so lucky to of had my mom for this long, and despite not having my father around my siblings and I grew up with a lot of love in our house. I don't think a day should go by that you don't tell your parents you love them, because one day you wont be able to.
My whole life I have heard hundreds of stories about my father. I was very young when he passed away so I grew up not knowing if the memories I had of him were my own or influenced by a story my mom or one of my older brothers told me. Nonetheless I gathered that he was a great man. My father was a police officer in the city of Passaic (where we lived at the time) and walked the beat. Back then police officers would actually walk around and get to know the people in the neighborhood, and this is where my fathers "greatness" went into action. Besides being about 6ft 2 and 260lbs of all muscle my father stuck out in other ways, he was fluent in spanish, treated people fair, and cared a lot about kids.
He started a program for kids in the city of Passaic to have a way to stay off the streets. It was called "Doin it in the park". Kids would come and play different sports, they d have music playing, give out free lunches, and help people that might not have the means to survive without some assistance. His work in the community was to the point where even to this day the city of Passaic presents a Bobby Thomas award to the officer that does exemplary work in the community.
"When you re gone what legacy will you leave behind? Did you spend your whole life helping or wanting to be helped"?
I've always wondered why we never went to visit my fathers headstone, but I never asked my mom. I felt like she must of had her reasons. Knowing my mom like I do, I assume it was because she wanted to remember my father how he was. So growing up it wasn't discussed. My oldest brother Robert was 17 when my father passed. He's technically my half brother which to me just means we didn't grow up in the same house. He has done a great job filling in some of the blanks for me and It's always amazed me how similar I have become to the man that I barely knew. My way with kids and from what I ve been told the way I interact with people no matter their race, religion, etc is a lot like my dad.
So this one day I decided that I will go alone (not great at being emotional, especially in a group setting) and find my fathers headstone. I didn't know what I was going to say, I wasn't sure if I'd cry (at that point I haven't cried in more than a decade) I just knew that I would go and I guess whatever was meant to happen would happen. When I got to the cemetery there were a lot of thoughts rushing through my mind. My mom and brother went a long time ago to visit (i was away at college) and they weren't sure of the location of the headstone. So when I got there I went inside and talked to the person working and asked if they could look up where my father was buried. It took me an hour to find him, the one thing that I wasn't aware of is there was not headstone for my father. I had no idea, I wasn't told, and I kept going back and forth between the cemetery and the office to get directions. Finally the guy working (who must of thought I was a little on the slow side) revealed this information to me.
He told me that my father was right next to a headstone that read Otto Kumetz. So that's who I went to look for. The name just stuck with me as I walked in the rain. First it was the name Otto which is obviously not the most common name in the list of 100 best baby names. Then it was the thought that this was the person that has been next to my father since his death and will be forever and that's what hit me the hardest. I found Otto Kumetz a short time after I received my last set of directions and saw the space to his left and realized I was looking at where my father was buried. I didn't cry, I just stood there, part of me was angry at Otto for having a headstone and my father not having one. I wondered if Otto knew who he was next to. If he had any idea how great of a man my father was, and out of nowhere I got choked up and a tear came down my cheek. I only stayed for about 20 minutes or so (once I found my way) I mumbled something to my father, got in my car, and started driving home.
On the ride back I turned off the radio and thought about my dad and also Otto. They are roommates for eternity and I know that if my dad ever met Otto they d be friends. It seems like my dad just had that way about him. I got home and looked for Otto online and found some things about an artist etc (obviously with no clue if it was the Otto I was looking for) I'm planning on going down again at some point to say hello to both my father and Otto.
I feel like we don't have a lot of time on this earth, and our parents usually have about a twenty five year head start on us when we arrive. I consider myself so lucky to of had my mom for this long, and despite not having my father around my siblings and I grew up with a lot of love in our house. I don't think a day should go by that you don't tell your parents you love them, because one day you wont be able to.
Saturday, October 2, 2010
BEING YOU
Sometimes I wonder if there was ever a time in the history of the world when being yourself was ok. Now when I say this you have to understand that I mean being who you want to be and now how people expect you to be. Recently we have had kids both younger and older commit suicide because they were ridiculed for being themselves. They didn't fit in with the norm. So other kids that did treated them like they were outcast, harassing them to the point where these kids felt they had nothing left on this earth to live for. Now by no means do I agree with the way these kids handled the situation. I always feel that theres a way to get through tough times, and taking your life is not one of them. But imagine how bad these kids must of been harassed to feel that they didn't have any other options.
Our society tells us whats cool and whats not and also whose cool and whose not. When you watch a movie the "cool guy" isn't the kid who is in the marching band, or the one that keeps to himself and gets excellent grades, no the cool guy is the jock, or the most popular kid in school. The cool girl is the petite and pretty cheerleader that knows everyone and loves to party. Whats the last movie, t.v show, or commercial that you' ve seen where the "cool girl" is overweight or not what society sees as attractive?
Growing up my mom has always told me to treat people the way you want to be treated. Now she didn't say treat "cool people" the way you wanted to be treated or "attractive people" that way but people in general. So I ve never put myself in a stereotype. I realized at an early age not to care what other people thought about me or who I was friends with. I judged people for who they were not who they were perceived to be. I didn't allow "pack mentality" to affect me when choosing friends and because of that I grew up with a great mix of people in my life from all different backgrounds and ethnicity's.
"Conformity is the killer of individuality"
It's important for us to strive to be unique in a world that promotes conformity. It's also equally important to recognize that we're all different, and in my opinion that's whats so special about the human race. We're all unique in our own way. The most important letter in the word unique is the "U", because that's what its about. It's about you and will be until you leave this earth. We don't have an eternity on this planet so why would you waste time being anything else but yourself every day?
Our society tells us whats cool and whats not and also whose cool and whose not. When you watch a movie the "cool guy" isn't the kid who is in the marching band, or the one that keeps to himself and gets excellent grades, no the cool guy is the jock, or the most popular kid in school. The cool girl is the petite and pretty cheerleader that knows everyone and loves to party. Whats the last movie, t.v show, or commercial that you' ve seen where the "cool girl" is overweight or not what society sees as attractive?
Growing up my mom has always told me to treat people the way you want to be treated. Now she didn't say treat "cool people" the way you wanted to be treated or "attractive people" that way but people in general. So I ve never put myself in a stereotype. I realized at an early age not to care what other people thought about me or who I was friends with. I judged people for who they were not who they were perceived to be. I didn't allow "pack mentality" to affect me when choosing friends and because of that I grew up with a great mix of people in my life from all different backgrounds and ethnicity's.
"Conformity is the killer of individuality"
It's important for us to strive to be unique in a world that promotes conformity. It's also equally important to recognize that we're all different, and in my opinion that's whats so special about the human race. We're all unique in our own way. The most important letter in the word unique is the "U", because that's what its about. It's about you and will be until you leave this earth. We don't have an eternity on this planet so why would you waste time being anything else but yourself every day?
Saturday, September 25, 2010
FEAR
Fear is a characteristic that is learned. We' re not born with it. When we're young we don't know fear. Everything is new to us. We want to explore, we want to find out how things work, and that's the beauty of being a child. Then at some point our parents plant the seed of fear in our heads. Now its not their fault, if they didn't we probably wouldn't live to the age of 5, but that seed stays with us forever. Now we learn that jumping off the couch can result in a broken arm, or pulling spike the family pitbulls tail could possibly make him bite our little arms off.
As we grow a little older we no longer need our parents to help instill fear in us. Society does the rest. We re taught through friends, television, and the media what we should be afraid of. So we go through life making new fears on a daily basis. Fear of failure, fear of not being accepted, fear of the unknown, fear of different races, fear of being alone, fear of change, these are just a few of the thousands of different fears that are prevalent in the world that we live in.
What a lot of us don't understand is fear can be a great tool for us. Fear can help motivate us to get that paper done in time, to work extra hours in the batting cage so we can make the high school baseball team, to go to work early and leave late so we can get a project done. Fear is what made me work so hard at getting better in basketball. I was scared that I would never be able to go to college if I didn't get a scholarship. I knew my mom didn't have enough money to pay for it, so every day and every night I trained that was one of the motivating forces in my workout.
"To conquer fear you have to look it in the eye from time to time"
Ask yourself what would you do if you were not afraid? How would your life be different? Would you of taken more chances? Would you of actually tried to talk to that girl or guy you had a crush on in high school? Would it of been you that took the game winning shot?
Use fear to your advantage. Don't let it stop you from going after you want in life. Fear can be hehelpful if you allow it to.
Never question whether or not you can overcome your fears, question why you haven't already..
As we grow a little older we no longer need our parents to help instill fear in us. Society does the rest. We re taught through friends, television, and the media what we should be afraid of. So we go through life making new fears on a daily basis. Fear of failure, fear of not being accepted, fear of the unknown, fear of different races, fear of being alone, fear of change, these are just a few of the thousands of different fears that are prevalent in the world that we live in.
What a lot of us don't understand is fear can be a great tool for us. Fear can help motivate us to get that paper done in time, to work extra hours in the batting cage so we can make the high school baseball team, to go to work early and leave late so we can get a project done. Fear is what made me work so hard at getting better in basketball. I was scared that I would never be able to go to college if I didn't get a scholarship. I knew my mom didn't have enough money to pay for it, so every day and every night I trained that was one of the motivating forces in my workout.
"To conquer fear you have to look it in the eye from time to time"
Ask yourself what would you do if you were not afraid? How would your life be different? Would you of taken more chances? Would you of actually tried to talk to that girl or guy you had a crush on in high school? Would it of been you that took the game winning shot?
Use fear to your advantage. Don't let it stop you from going after you want in life. Fear can be hehelpful if you allow it to.
Never question whether or not you can overcome your fears, question why you haven't already..
FEAR
Fear is a characteristic that is learned. We' re not born with it. When we're young we don't know fear. Everything is new to us. We want to explore, we want to find out how things work, and that's the beauty of being a child. Then at some point our parents plant the seed of fear in our heads. Now its not their fault, if they didn't we probably wouldn't live to the age of 5, but that seed stays with us forever. Now we learn that jumping off the couch can result in a broken arm, or pulling spike the family pitbulls tail could possibly make him bite our little arms off.
As we grow a little older we no longer need our parents to help instill fear in us. Society does the rest. We re taught through friends, television, and the media what we should be afraid of. So we go through life making new fears on a daily basis. Fear of failure, fear of not being accepted, fear of the unknown, fear of different races, fear of being alone, fear of change, these are just a few of the thousands of different fears that are prevalent in the world that we live in.
What a lot of us don't understand is fear can be a great tool for us. Fear can help motivate us to get that paper done in time, to work extra hours in the batting cage so we can make the high school baseball team, to go to work early and leave late so we can get a project done. Fear is what made me work so hard at getting better in basketball. I was scared that I would never be able to go to college if I didn't get a scholarship. I knew my mom didn't have enough money to pay for it, so every day and every night I trained that was one of the motivating forces in my workout.
"To conquer fear you have to look it in the eye from time to time"
Ask yourself what would you do if you were not afraid? How would your life be different? Would you of taken more chances? Would you of actually tried to talk to that girl or guy you had a crush on in high school? Would it of been you that took the game winning shot?
Use fear to your advantage. Don't let it stop you from going after you want in life. Fear can be hehelpful if you allow it to.
Never question whether or not you can overcome your fears, question why you haven't already..
As we grow a little older we no longer need our parents to help instill fear in us. Society does the rest. We re taught through friends, television, and the media what we should be afraid of. So we go through life making new fears on a daily basis. Fear of failure, fear of not being accepted, fear of the unknown, fear of different races, fear of being alone, fear of change, these are just a few of the thousands of different fears that are prevalent in the world that we live in.
What a lot of us don't understand is fear can be a great tool for us. Fear can help motivate us to get that paper done in time, to work extra hours in the batting cage so we can make the high school baseball team, to go to work early and leave late so we can get a project done. Fear is what made me work so hard at getting better in basketball. I was scared that I would never be able to go to college if I didn't get a scholarship. I knew my mom didn't have enough money to pay for it, so every day and every night I trained that was one of the motivating forces in my workout.
"To conquer fear you have to look it in the eye from time to time"
Ask yourself what would you do if you were not afraid? How would your life be different? Would you of taken more chances? Would you of actually tried to talk to that girl or guy you had a crush on in high school? Would it of been you that took the game winning shot?
Use fear to your advantage. Don't let it stop you from going after you want in life. Fear can be hehelpful if you allow it to.
Never question whether or not you can overcome your fears, question why you haven't already..
Saturday, September 18, 2010
WHY ME VS WHAT NOW?
Why me? Is this the question that you ask yourself when things are going wrong in your life? Do you feel like theres a dark cloud following you wherever you go? If "why me" is the first question you ask yourself when things go bad then you re going about it the wrong way. We all go through hard times at some point in our lives, its inevitable. But how you deal with those tough times are completely up to you, and that starts with changing what you say to yourself when bad things do happen.
What now? In these two words are a very powerful message that you're sending to yourself. In those two words you're already telling yourself that you are ready to move on and figure out your next step. You're also accepting the fact that what has happened is already in the past. Sometimes we waste time feeling sorry for ourselves or the hand we were dealt in life, instead of trying to figure out a plan to get through whatever difficult situation arises.
"Stop saying why me? Start saying what now? Adversity is what shapes our lives and separates the weak from the strong!"
A strong individual is always asking what now? They don't sit around saying why me? They don't focus on all the wrong things that have happened in their lives. Instead they're thinking whats the next step? Where do I go from here?
Being a coach I always tell my players to focus on the what now and not the why me. That's one of the reasons that I chose this topic. Basketball is such a fast moving game, if one of my players concentrated on a bad play that happened during the game it would most likely affect the next 5 or 6 plays before they had a chance to change their mindset and move on. Which of course would result in my blood pressure sky rocketing and ultimately the player coming out of the game.
I tell my players to adopt the same mindset in their everyday lives. I try to let them see the similarities between basketball and life. Both move fast, both make you have to make adjustments, and both can be equally rewarding and heartbreaking at any given time. But its how you deal with that heartbreak that makes you successful or not.
So when we do fall upon hard times ask yourself the right question. Plan a way to make it better, and move on.
What now? In these two words are a very powerful message that you're sending to yourself. In those two words you're already telling yourself that you are ready to move on and figure out your next step. You're also accepting the fact that what has happened is already in the past. Sometimes we waste time feeling sorry for ourselves or the hand we were dealt in life, instead of trying to figure out a plan to get through whatever difficult situation arises.
"Stop saying why me? Start saying what now? Adversity is what shapes our lives and separates the weak from the strong!"
A strong individual is always asking what now? They don't sit around saying why me? They don't focus on all the wrong things that have happened in their lives. Instead they're thinking whats the next step? Where do I go from here?
Being a coach I always tell my players to focus on the what now and not the why me. That's one of the reasons that I chose this topic. Basketball is such a fast moving game, if one of my players concentrated on a bad play that happened during the game it would most likely affect the next 5 or 6 plays before they had a chance to change their mindset and move on. Which of course would result in my blood pressure sky rocketing and ultimately the player coming out of the game.
I tell my players to adopt the same mindset in their everyday lives. I try to let them see the similarities between basketball and life. Both move fast, both make you have to make adjustments, and both can be equally rewarding and heartbreaking at any given time. But its how you deal with that heartbreak that makes you successful or not.
So when we do fall upon hard times ask yourself the right question. Plan a way to make it better, and move on.
Saturday, September 11, 2010
THE 1ST STEP
Out of all the steps that we take in our lives, the first one is usually the most difficult. Every new journey that we embark on can't start without that initial step, so what happens if we never take it? How many times have you said to yourself "If I could only start this routine I know I could keep it going", or "I would love to have this job but is still haven't sent my resume in yet". They're a million different scenarios we could probably think of where if we could only take that first step, we could accomplish a goal or task that we' ve been wanting to do.
Then why don't we? Is it laziness, fear, lack of self confidence, maybe all of the above? Which one of these reasons relate to you? And a better question is, why do you allow these negative feelings to stop you from taking that first step? I use the analogy of that first step being like jumping out of an airplane. Once you step out theres no going back, its done you re on your way. Now obviously if we take a step towards something we usually can go back, but the same courage that it takes to jump out of that airplane, is the same courage needed for that initial step.
"Climb that first stair before you worry about the other ones, if you don't climb the first one, the journey will never begin."
If you want something you have to go after it, and you have to go after it with everything you have. You can't be afraid to fail, you cant be afraid of the consequences, you have to take that first step and be willing to go wherever the journey takes you. If its not meant to be, then go to another staircase and start another journey somewhere else. Sounds simple right? Well it is! It's as simple as changing your mindset, and that starts with a thought. It starts with you thinking, "I know I can do this", If I need to get my resume in before a certain deadline, then I ll get up and do it weeks before", If I need to stop smoking to live a healthier lifestyle then yesterday was the last day of me smoking!"
You can't enjoy the rewards of the journey if you never start it. Micheal Jordan (whose arguably the greatest basketball player to ever played the game) once said "I rather go 0 for 20 (which meant not make a shot during a game) than go 0 for 0." (which is not shooting at all) Because at least he attempted to score when he went 0 for 20, he took that step, he didn't play it safe, he put himself out there and at the end of the day he could live with that.
They're many staircases that we will face in our lives, some might lead us to great things, and some might not, but to find out which one is which you're going to have to take that first step.
Then why don't we? Is it laziness, fear, lack of self confidence, maybe all of the above? Which one of these reasons relate to you? And a better question is, why do you allow these negative feelings to stop you from taking that first step? I use the analogy of that first step being like jumping out of an airplane. Once you step out theres no going back, its done you re on your way. Now obviously if we take a step towards something we usually can go back, but the same courage that it takes to jump out of that airplane, is the same courage needed for that initial step.
"Climb that first stair before you worry about the other ones, if you don't climb the first one, the journey will never begin."
If you want something you have to go after it, and you have to go after it with everything you have. You can't be afraid to fail, you cant be afraid of the consequences, you have to take that first step and be willing to go wherever the journey takes you. If its not meant to be, then go to another staircase and start another journey somewhere else. Sounds simple right? Well it is! It's as simple as changing your mindset, and that starts with a thought. It starts with you thinking, "I know I can do this", If I need to get my resume in before a certain deadline, then I ll get up and do it weeks before", If I need to stop smoking to live a healthier lifestyle then yesterday was the last day of me smoking!"
You can't enjoy the rewards of the journey if you never start it. Micheal Jordan (whose arguably the greatest basketball player to ever played the game) once said "I rather go 0 for 20 (which meant not make a shot during a game) than go 0 for 0." (which is not shooting at all) Because at least he attempted to score when he went 0 for 20, he took that step, he didn't play it safe, he put himself out there and at the end of the day he could live with that.
They're many staircases that we will face in our lives, some might lead us to great things, and some might not, but to find out which one is which you're going to have to take that first step.
Saturday, September 4, 2010
BEING THANKFUL
Once a year we all go through the same tradition. We meet with family and friends, eat a lot of food, and express how thankful we are for the things in our lives. Now if you ve been doing this tradition for a while, more and more it just becomes "I cant wait to eat Aunt Milly's chocolate cake", or "I cant believe I have to sit here while Uncle Jeff gets drunk again and talks about the war". The 30 second prayer giving thanks before dinner is exactly what it is, 15 or so words appreciating what we have and then its over.
Why do we only designate one day out of the 365 that we have each year being thankful for something? To me being thankful is just waking up in the morning. No matter what you have in store for you the rest of that day, the fact of the matter is that you did something over a hundred thousand people didn't do that day.
You Woke Up!
But that's not enough. Not for most of us. Well how about the ones that woke up with a roof over their heads? Now you ve done something that over 3 million other people didn't do that same morning.
And the list can go on and on. So why aren't we thankful for what we have? Why don't we show gratitude for the situations that we re in? Because in this day in age, we re taught that what we have is never enough. It's a beat thy neighbor society. I have a car, but Chuck next door has a better car, so even though I'm perfectly happy with what I have right now, I think I need to get something better that might be more expensive and later on stress me out just so I can "compete" with Chuck.
Being Thankful is saying "The fact that I have a car is awesome". It takes me from point A to point B and that's good enough for right now.
But It's not just materialistic things. How about the people in our lives? Were you raised by both parents? Were you raised by any? I grew up in a single family household. I ve always understood that what I had was special. I knew the way my mom cared and loved me and my siblings didn't happen with some families. So I never looked at not having a father growing up as a crutch. I knew that my situation was a lot better than people I knew with both parents, and I was always thankful for that. You hear people say, "well i don't talk to my mom or dad anymore" or "me and my brother or sister don't talk". When I hear these things being said I think of a quote I really like.
"Cherish what you have everyday because you cant once its gone".
Be thankful for the people you have in your life.
Be thankful for the little things and the big ones.
Don't wake up in the morning dreading the day, because your worst day would be someone else's best.
Spending everyday appreciating what you have, is a lot better than spending 30 seconds once a year waiting for the prayer to be over so you can eat.
Why do we only designate one day out of the 365 that we have each year being thankful for something? To me being thankful is just waking up in the morning. No matter what you have in store for you the rest of that day, the fact of the matter is that you did something over a hundred thousand people didn't do that day.
You Woke Up!
But that's not enough. Not for most of us. Well how about the ones that woke up with a roof over their heads? Now you ve done something that over 3 million other people didn't do that same morning.
And the list can go on and on. So why aren't we thankful for what we have? Why don't we show gratitude for the situations that we re in? Because in this day in age, we re taught that what we have is never enough. It's a beat thy neighbor society. I have a car, but Chuck next door has a better car, so even though I'm perfectly happy with what I have right now, I think I need to get something better that might be more expensive and later on stress me out just so I can "compete" with Chuck.
Being Thankful is saying "The fact that I have a car is awesome". It takes me from point A to point B and that's good enough for right now.
But It's not just materialistic things. How about the people in our lives? Were you raised by both parents? Were you raised by any? I grew up in a single family household. I ve always understood that what I had was special. I knew the way my mom cared and loved me and my siblings didn't happen with some families. So I never looked at not having a father growing up as a crutch. I knew that my situation was a lot better than people I knew with both parents, and I was always thankful for that. You hear people say, "well i don't talk to my mom or dad anymore" or "me and my brother or sister don't talk". When I hear these things being said I think of a quote I really like.
"Cherish what you have everyday because you cant once its gone".
Be thankful for the people you have in your life.
Be thankful for the little things and the big ones.
Don't wake up in the morning dreading the day, because your worst day would be someone else's best.
Spending everyday appreciating what you have, is a lot better than spending 30 seconds once a year waiting for the prayer to be over so you can eat.
Saturday, August 28, 2010
MENTAL TOUGHNESS
As a basketball coach I ve used this phrase with my players a million times. During conditioning, before a tough game, right in the middle of a grueling practice etc etc. I ve preached how the mind has to be shut off sometimes for us to be successful. Because during those tough times the mind sometimes sends us negative messages. It tells us to quit. It tells us that what we re doing is to tough. It tells us that what we re doing can't be accomplished. And as we all know when the mind goes the body follows.
I tell my players that sports a lot of times mimics life. In both you have different struggles and heartaches you have to get over in order to become succesful or to be happy.
Mental toughness is needed on not just a day to day basis but sometimes a minute to minute one. Recovering addicts have to use mental toughness every second of their lives to stop themselves from going back to old habits. How mentally tough does one have to be after losing a loved one, or being layed off? They're a million scenarios in our lives where we have to be strong mentally.
The mind is such a powerful tool. When its working for us its a beautiful thing, we feel great about who we are and what we re doing, we re positive and we dont let anything get in our way. When its working against us it's the opposite, it can be destructive and it could put us in an unhealthy place both mentally and physically.
"Once you let negative thoughts infiltrate your mind its going to take a whole army to get them out."
It all starts with our thoughts. Mental toughness can be learned. It's not something you have to be born with. Each time you push yourself through something difficult, that you didnt think you could do, you re building up your mental toughness.
The key is during times of hardship, remember the moments where you ve overcome something difficult in the past. Then you can look at the current situation and say to yourself, I know i can get over this because I ve dealt with tough situations before, and although this one might be different it's still going to take the same mental toughness as the last one to get through it.
Build up your mental toughness by every obstacle you overcome and that will make the next one a little bit easier to deal with.
I tell my players that sports a lot of times mimics life. In both you have different struggles and heartaches you have to get over in order to become succesful or to be happy.
Mental toughness is needed on not just a day to day basis but sometimes a minute to minute one. Recovering addicts have to use mental toughness every second of their lives to stop themselves from going back to old habits. How mentally tough does one have to be after losing a loved one, or being layed off? They're a million scenarios in our lives where we have to be strong mentally.
The mind is such a powerful tool. When its working for us its a beautiful thing, we feel great about who we are and what we re doing, we re positive and we dont let anything get in our way. When its working against us it's the opposite, it can be destructive and it could put us in an unhealthy place both mentally and physically.
"Once you let negative thoughts infiltrate your mind its going to take a whole army to get them out."
It all starts with our thoughts. Mental toughness can be learned. It's not something you have to be born with. Each time you push yourself through something difficult, that you didnt think you could do, you re building up your mental toughness.
The key is during times of hardship, remember the moments where you ve overcome something difficult in the past. Then you can look at the current situation and say to yourself, I know i can get over this because I ve dealt with tough situations before, and although this one might be different it's still going to take the same mental toughness as the last one to get through it.
Build up your mental toughness by every obstacle you overcome and that will make the next one a little bit easier to deal with.
Saturday, August 21, 2010
LETTING GO
What are you holding on to? More importantly why can't you let it go? Is it a bad relationship? A dead end job? A negative way of thinking? A harmful addiction? An argument with a family member, or friend that has hurt what used to be a strong bond? Whatever the case may be why does it seem so hard for us to just "let go" of the things that are holding us back?
One reason could be fear. What if I leave this relationship and cant find someone else? How will I ever find another job in this economy? What will I do without drugs or alcohol? What if my father/mother doesn't accept my apology? Fear prevents us from taking that first step. It raises all these negative questions in our heads when we're trying to "let go".
In my opinion we are all capable of doing this. Just like any other fear you have to confront it head on. You have to have the courage to take that first step. "The only thing holding you back are your excuses". Think about that for a second. All the negative thoughts that arise in your head when you re thinking about taking that first step are excuses. And those excuses cause us to not change our situation.
Understanding that we can't start any journey without taking the first step is one of the most important things to remember when trying to "let go". And that's what letting go is, its a journey. Because even when we do "let go" its a long road we travel to make sure that those negative thoughts never arrive in our heads again.
So take that first step. Realize that you can "let go" its just a matter of allowing ourselves to actually do it.
One reason could be fear. What if I leave this relationship and cant find someone else? How will I ever find another job in this economy? What will I do without drugs or alcohol? What if my father/mother doesn't accept my apology? Fear prevents us from taking that first step. It raises all these negative questions in our heads when we're trying to "let go".
In my opinion we are all capable of doing this. Just like any other fear you have to confront it head on. You have to have the courage to take that first step. "The only thing holding you back are your excuses". Think about that for a second. All the negative thoughts that arise in your head when you re thinking about taking that first step are excuses. And those excuses cause us to not change our situation.
Understanding that we can't start any journey without taking the first step is one of the most important things to remember when trying to "let go". And that's what letting go is, its a journey. Because even when we do "let go" its a long road we travel to make sure that those negative thoughts never arrive in our heads again.
So take that first step. Realize that you can "let go" its just a matter of allowing ourselves to actually do it.
Saturday, August 14, 2010
ADVERSITY
The first thing we tend to say when adversity rears its ugly head is "WHY ME"? We feel like theres a dark cloud following us around and the universe has decided to purposely make sure that our lives are miserable.
Instead of saying "WHY ME" why don't we say "WHAT NOW". Why do we waste time worrying about all of our problems, instead of using that time to find solutions.
I feel that we are what we believe. If we believe that things will never get better then they wont. If we believe that the problem is transitory and will pass then eventually it will. One of my favorite quotes is "At some point the storm will pass, and when it does remember that you got through it in one piece, because there will be more to come."
To me that quote serves 2 purposes. One it lets us know that no matter how bad it gets our problems will eventually pass, and two we can use our experience of dealing with adversity to help us combat future setbacks that might arise.
The easiest thing in the world to do is quit. It takes no effort. I ve seen it first hand, not just in my coaching profession, or in my classroom, but in life. Friends and associates that have made up their mind that things wont get better so they don't try to improve their situation.
Life is only as hard as you let it become. You see men and women that come back from war missing limbs that not only enter marathons but complete them. What if they decided to give up? That should serves as inspiration to us all, and make us look at our problems and ask the question, is what we re going through really that bad?
The answer usually is no. Theres always someone that has it worst than you, maybe the only difference is they don't recognize it.
Instead of saying "WHY ME" why don't we say "WHAT NOW". Why do we waste time worrying about all of our problems, instead of using that time to find solutions.
I feel that we are what we believe. If we believe that things will never get better then they wont. If we believe that the problem is transitory and will pass then eventually it will. One of my favorite quotes is "At some point the storm will pass, and when it does remember that you got through it in one piece, because there will be more to come."
To me that quote serves 2 purposes. One it lets us know that no matter how bad it gets our problems will eventually pass, and two we can use our experience of dealing with adversity to help us combat future setbacks that might arise.
The easiest thing in the world to do is quit. It takes no effort. I ve seen it first hand, not just in my coaching profession, or in my classroom, but in life. Friends and associates that have made up their mind that things wont get better so they don't try to improve their situation.
Life is only as hard as you let it become. You see men and women that come back from war missing limbs that not only enter marathons but complete them. What if they decided to give up? That should serves as inspiration to us all, and make us look at our problems and ask the question, is what we re going through really that bad?
The answer usually is no. Theres always someone that has it worst than you, maybe the only difference is they don't recognize it.
Friday, August 6, 2010
SELF BELIEF
The most important thing for us to understand is that no one will believe in you if you do not believe in yourself. Its impossible to be successful in life without believing that you will be. Self belief sounds like a simple enough concept so why is it that so many of us doubt ourselves or doubt what we re capable of doing?
Usually self doubt occurs because of past failures, fear, or people that have been telling you your whole life that you re not capable of doing something. Then what do we do? We believe that we re not good enough, or we don't have enough time, or we're not smart enough, and our confidence dips to the point where its non existent.
The first time I ever picked up a basketball was around my junior year in high school. I was absolutely terrible at the sport at that time, the only thing i had going for me was my work ethic. I sat JV as a junior and my senior year in high school I barely played on a team that went 4-19 (that's 4 wins and 19 losses) Out of the kindness of his heart a local college coach told me that I can come and workout with some recruits that were looking to attend the school in the fall. We played for about 2 hours and by no means did i do anything to stick out. After the workout me and my mom went to the coaches office to talk about me possibly trying to "walk on" to the team (no money is usually given to walk ons/a walk on is basically auditioning for the last spot on the bench) Before the coach could say a word the first thing my mom asked him was "How many players that have went to this school played in the NBA" I almost sunk out of my chair and under the door, that's how embarrassed I was, i knew i wasn't good and on top of that i knew the coach knew that i wasn't that good, but here is my mom all 5 feet 2 inches of her asking the coach about the NBA.
I never forgot that day. It took me a couple of days to really grasp what happened in that office. My mom had more confidence in me than i did in myself. She believed in me so much (despite knowing i wasn't that good at the time) that she asked the coach about me playing professionally. From that point on I told myself that i would always believe in myself more than anyone else. Eventually i transferred schools and got a full scholarship to play basketball (something that i doubt anyone thought that I was capable of in high school/well besides my mom)
Now believing is not the end all be all. You cant sit in your house and just believe that you re great without taking any action. I worked out 5 hours a day everyday, and I loved the game of basketball. So my formula for success would be this:
SELF BELIEF + PASSION + WORK ETHIC = SUCCESS.
Every component in that equation has to be there if not then you re selling yourself short. Believe in yourself and you ll see how easily others will believe in you also.
Usually self doubt occurs because of past failures, fear, or people that have been telling you your whole life that you re not capable of doing something. Then what do we do? We believe that we re not good enough, or we don't have enough time, or we're not smart enough, and our confidence dips to the point where its non existent.
The first time I ever picked up a basketball was around my junior year in high school. I was absolutely terrible at the sport at that time, the only thing i had going for me was my work ethic. I sat JV as a junior and my senior year in high school I barely played on a team that went 4-19 (that's 4 wins and 19 losses) Out of the kindness of his heart a local college coach told me that I can come and workout with some recruits that were looking to attend the school in the fall. We played for about 2 hours and by no means did i do anything to stick out. After the workout me and my mom went to the coaches office to talk about me possibly trying to "walk on" to the team (no money is usually given to walk ons/a walk on is basically auditioning for the last spot on the bench) Before the coach could say a word the first thing my mom asked him was "How many players that have went to this school played in the NBA" I almost sunk out of my chair and under the door, that's how embarrassed I was, i knew i wasn't good and on top of that i knew the coach knew that i wasn't that good, but here is my mom all 5 feet 2 inches of her asking the coach about the NBA.
I never forgot that day. It took me a couple of days to really grasp what happened in that office. My mom had more confidence in me than i did in myself. She believed in me so much (despite knowing i wasn't that good at the time) that she asked the coach about me playing professionally. From that point on I told myself that i would always believe in myself more than anyone else. Eventually i transferred schools and got a full scholarship to play basketball (something that i doubt anyone thought that I was capable of in high school/well besides my mom)
Now believing is not the end all be all. You cant sit in your house and just believe that you re great without taking any action. I worked out 5 hours a day everyday, and I loved the game of basketball. So my formula for success would be this:
SELF BELIEF + PASSION + WORK ETHIC = SUCCESS.
Every component in that equation has to be there if not then you re selling yourself short. Believe in yourself and you ll see how easily others will believe in you also.
Saturday, July 31, 2010
RISK
There's a great reason why I chose this to be my first blog topic. The question I always ask myself is, what would everyones life be like if we weren't afraid? If we weren't afraid to take chances? If we didn't listen to the voices in our heads that say that something is too hard? Or that we are not good enough? I think taking chances is what has made our country what it is today. Thank God the Wright brothers decided that there was no such thing as impossible; I would of had to walk to Vegas last week and I'm not sure that would of worked out so well.
Today, write down something that you've been afraid to do, whether its leaving a dead end job or telling someone something that's been on your mind. Then ask yourself why? Why can't you do this? And before all the negative thoughts in your head start to answer that question, check off the task, and do it. Start small and work your way up. Check the task off the list, throw out the piece of paper and start another one.
Today, write down something that you've been afraid to do, whether its leaving a dead end job or telling someone something that's been on your mind. Then ask yourself why? Why can't you do this? And before all the negative thoughts in your head start to answer that question, check off the task, and do it. Start small and work your way up. Check the task off the list, throw out the piece of paper and start another one.
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