RAY

Mentor: A wise an trusted counselor or teacher.

It would be tough for anyone to say in this day and age that they went through life without having anyone they looked up to, or that they've never had someone help them a long the way. I was thinking about all the people throughout my life that have helped me on my own personal journey and have also help mold me into the person that I am today. Most were good influences but some were also bad, and from the latter I learned attributes like mental toughness, dealing with adversity, and believing in myself even when others don't.

Out of all my mentors I have to say that one continues to stick out in my mind. Mentors usually are around in someones life for an extended period of time. Your english teacher in high school, your college football coach, or maybe your first boss. But my first mentor was only with me for about 6 hours. Granted I saw him throughout a year period from time to time but it was only 2 days, 1 in particular that I will never forget and those days ignited a spark in me that has shaped my life and at that time completely changed my path.

As I touched on in earlier blogs, I started playing basketball at the age of 16. Which is a very late age. We train kids right now as young as 8 years old and I'm sure some of them have better skill than I did at 16. No one in my family played basketball so when I decided to start trying I didn't have anyone to show me the ropes. So I decided to be my own coach. I would walk down to the basketball court about 2 miles away from my house and throw the ball at the orange circle (i found out later it was called a rim) and pray that the ball from time to time would go in. Needless to say I didn't have great success doing that right away.

One Saturday during one of my "shooting sessions" it started to drizzle a little bit. I had a 2 mile walk home in the rain anyway (this was the age of pay phones, no way to call mommy to come get me) so I decided I might as well stay and continue to shoot. Across the street from the park I was shooting at, were some houses and behind them woods. Literally like out of a movie my first basketball mentor came walking towards the court. He introduced himself and said his name was Ray. He asked me if I would mind if he showed me a couple of things. I couldn't believe it!! After I got over the fact that Ray magically appeared out of the woods, I couldn't believe he was going to actually show me how to play.

"Theres no shame in asking someone for help that has traveled the road you have yet to discover"

Ray was probably in his mid thirties at that time, he was a 5 foot 10 Asian guy, and completely different looking than the guys I watched playing on T.V.  For the next 2 hours Ray showed me everything he knew about shooting. He told me that I had to flick my wrist down when I shoot, how to hold the basketball, he talked to me about different basketball terminology. I found out that when I spaztically dribble to the basket and jump to put it in its called a "lay up". I was amazed how much patience he had with me. I knew I wasn't good and he did to but he praised me for every little thing I did right. He never said anything negative when I did mess up, he just showed me the right way to do it.

After me and Ray worked out I practically glided home. I had this old run down hoop that I tried to put up in my driveway and when I got back I continued to work on what Ray had showed me. Over and over I could hear his voice as I shot, missed, watched the ball roll down the hill and ran after it. I repeated that process for another 2 hours. I was hooked, I had someone that believed in me. I wanted to learn everything I could about the game of basketball but more importantly I wanted to make sure that when Ray saw me next time he could tell that I've been working on what he showed me.

About a week went by before I saw Ray again. He could tell that I've been working on what he showed me and he had the most genuine smile on his face as I tried to show him that I was. It's probably the smile that teachers have when a kid thats struggling works really hard and gets an A, or when a coach has a player that he never thought would make it on the team, and the next year he or she does.

Sometimes people come in and out of our lives at the perfect time. I think the combination of Ray's patience and my desire to learn is what made it work. For Ray to do such a selfless act for someone he had never met says a lot about the kind of person that he is. That push made me want to get better and in turn set me on a path that I might not of discovered until later on, if ever.

"Your impact on this world should be measured not by how much money you made but how many people you affected in a positive way."

I only saw Ray about five more times after that. It was usually in a pick up game, and every time I would see him he would tell me how much I had improved since the first time we met. Granted I knew that I still had a long way to go but for him to say that meant a lot to me, and also made me strive to get even better. As the years passed I found out that Ray was a mailman in the area, and that he also lived right down the road from the court (which explained how he just appeared out of nowhere)

After I got out of high school and went to junior college, my basketball game started getting a lot better. At this point I had a number of people that I came across that had helped me with my game at some point or another. But I always found myself thinking about Ray and our first lesson. When I received a full scholarship to play at a four year college Ray again was on my mind. About a week after I got the scholarship I was in the mall, as I was walking I looked and saw Ray walking right towards me. I couldn't believe it. I hadn't seen him in 4 years and here he was right in front of me a week after I just signed a full scholarship to play the sport he first taught me.  I introduced myself right away (even though he remembered me) and told him all about the scholarship. I was so excited I don't know how much of my sentence was even coming out the right way. He smiled just like he did when we first met and told me, "I knew you would make it".

As I thanked him again and started walking away I wondered if he knew the impact that he had on my life. I had no idea if he fully understood what those few sessions did for me. My life now consist of coaching and training kids. I do what Ray did for me every day. Sometimes parents are amazed with how much time I put into working with their child no matter what his/her skill level is. A big reason is that I will never forget that someone did the same for me, and that person will forever be in my heart because of it.

Maybe one day one of the kids I work with will say that I was the reason that they got into coaching or training kids. Or maybe they'll just see me in the mall one day and thank me for changing their lives. I couldn't think of anything more rewarding than that.

"When you re gone what legacy will you leave behind? Did you spend your whole life helping or wanting to be helped"?