Think back as far as you can, do you remember your parents or teachers asking you the question, What do you want to be when you grow up? What was your answer back then? And more importantly are you doing what you've always wanted to do? Now don't get me wrong as you grow older and learn more about the world your views change on what you think is a good career and also what you want to accomplish in your life. They're not to many 25 year olds that still want to be a superhero (some but not many).
One of the things that amazes me about children is their ability to dream with their eyes open. All of us (including animals) dream when we go to sleep, but when we wake up we go back to "reality".
Children on the other hand are always dreaming, even after they wake up.
When you ask a child what he or she wants to be when they grow up, their answers can go anywhere from
a normal job (nurse,doctor) to an outrageous one (lion tamer,superman) but no matter what theres a level of confidence and certainty that when they get older that's what they'll be doing. And in a lot of cases theres no talking them out of it!
I had dinner with some friends the other night and we were talking about doing what you love every day in terms of a career. One of my friends has always wanted to be an umpire for major league baseball. At the moment he's working a regular 9 to 5, but when I saw his face light up as he talked about being an umpire I immediately thought, why aren't you doing this now? This is what you were meant to be!!
As we talked more about it I realized that as we get older we allow things to keep us from doing what we're passionate about. Not enough money, girlfriend/boyfriend doesn't agree with it, its to far away, what if I fail? These are all self imposed obstacles. We get in our own way. When we're younger we don't have any obstacles because we truly believe that we can do whatever we dream of.
So what do we do? We wait. We wait for the perfect situation to happen. We wait for all the stars to align to make sure theres a zero chance of failure. We wait to finally get out of our relationship with our boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife so we can start living the life we want. But what if its to late by then? What if the window of opportunity has already passed? Then what?
"Time will make dreams become memories act now"
Career wise I'm the luckiest man on the earth and every day I wake up I tell myself that. I get up and coach basketball and train kids everyday. When I was younger I didn't dream to be anything because I didn't find what I loved until my junior year of high school and that's when the "active dreaming" began. That's when I said to myself, I want to do basketball for the rest of my life. When you opened my notebooks there were pictures of a guy shooting hoops (mostly stick figures i cant draw to save my life) or just the word basketball and my jersey number.
I knew for a fact that I couldn't sit in an office all day and work. I wouldn't survive, I probably couldn't live more than a month that way. I think about coaching basketball and it's amazing to me how much money some of these upper echelon coaches make. Compared to these guys i've been doing my job for the last 7 years practically for free and I love every minute of it.
If bills weren't an option, could you wake up and do your job every day and live a happy and fulfilling life for free? Or would you get out of there so fast your name plate would still be on your desk as you sprinted towards the door?
"Waking up doesn't mean that your dreams are over, it just means that now you can physically work towards making them come true."
We over complicate enough things in our lives already, our dreams shouldn't be one of them
Saturday, October 30, 2010
Saturday, October 23, 2010
SACRIFICE
It's hard to find an exact definition of the word sacrifice. It can mean so many different things. From "a loss incurred in selling something below its value" to "surrender or give up or permit injury or disadvantage to". The actual definition can sometimes get lost in translation. None of the definitions that I discovered were the kind of sacrifice I wanted to write about. Then I came across a poster with a picture of a chess board, and on that board was a single white pawn (the most disposable piece in the game of chess) and in front of that pawn was every chess piece in black (from pawns to the most powerful chess pieces) and on the poster the word sacrifice was underneath it with these words:
"Your role may be thankless, but if you re willing to give it your all, you might just bring success to those who outlast you."
Now that stuck with me more than any definition that I could look up in a dictionary. In the poster the pawn knows that for the greater good he has to be sacrificed, and may set up an opening not for him to win but the other pieces on his side to. That's a powerful image. In my life I have been faced with so many situations where I've had to sacrifice for the greater good of others.
Growing up in a single family home with 4 siblings I was fortunate to be able to see sacrifice on an every day basis. Some people might think, why do you feel fortunate for growing up that way? My response to them would be, because it shaped who I am today. It made me appreciate every little thing that I was given, and also appreciate the people who gave it to me.
I was brought up in a "no whiners allowed" household. How could I complain about not wanting to take the garbage out when my mom just came home from her third job? How could I possibly gripe about not getting the best pair of sneakers if I knew for me to get them one of my brothers might have to go without?
I wouldn't trade my upbringing for anyone elses in the whole world. Because it made me realize that sometimes sacrifices have to be made for the better of the family and that message has stuck with me throughout my life.
Now there are different levels of sacrifice. Me giving up on getting a new pair of Nike's is not the same as the sacrifice that Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi went through but its still a selfless act. These days it seems like everyone feels a sense of entitlement. I deserve to be a CEO of a fortune 500 company or I deserve to land this job just because I showed up. Not a lot of people want to go through the sacrifice it takes to be successful.
In college my big sacrifice was not going to parties and getting drunk every night. Now anyone that knows me knows that I ve never been into drinking and have never done a drug in my life. When I started playing basketball I knew that to accomplish my goal (which was to play professionally) I couldn't waste time doing things that would not only hurt my game but also possibly get me in some trouble. So when my friends would go to parties I'd go to the gym and workout. The next morning I felt great while some of my teammates were still trying to justify why they accidentally wet the bed, again.
Your sacrifice can be something small or something that's on a greater scale. If you re trying to lose some weight your sacrifice might be driving past the golden arches and not right to them! If you re trying to make a sports team it might mean sacrificing some of your social life to put in extra work at the gym. Maybe you re in a relationship and your girlfriend or wife might want to go see a "notebook" type chick flick and you'd rather watch Rocky 6. No matter what the case is you're making a sacrifice.
"Figure out what you want, and then ask yourself if you're willing to put the blood, sweat, and tears in to get it"
If you can look in the mirror and say I'm doing everything in my power to reach my goals then theres no reason to hold your head down if for some reason you don't accomplish them right away. If you're not maybe your not sacrificing enough to make it happen, or maybe you're just waiting for it to happen for you, if its the latter then you have a long road ahead.
"Your role may be thankless, but if you re willing to give it your all, you might just bring success to those who outlast you."
Now that stuck with me more than any definition that I could look up in a dictionary. In the poster the pawn knows that for the greater good he has to be sacrificed, and may set up an opening not for him to win but the other pieces on his side to. That's a powerful image. In my life I have been faced with so many situations where I've had to sacrifice for the greater good of others.
Growing up in a single family home with 4 siblings I was fortunate to be able to see sacrifice on an every day basis. Some people might think, why do you feel fortunate for growing up that way? My response to them would be, because it shaped who I am today. It made me appreciate every little thing that I was given, and also appreciate the people who gave it to me.
I was brought up in a "no whiners allowed" household. How could I complain about not wanting to take the garbage out when my mom just came home from her third job? How could I possibly gripe about not getting the best pair of sneakers if I knew for me to get them one of my brothers might have to go without?
I wouldn't trade my upbringing for anyone elses in the whole world. Because it made me realize that sometimes sacrifices have to be made for the better of the family and that message has stuck with me throughout my life.
Now there are different levels of sacrifice. Me giving up on getting a new pair of Nike's is not the same as the sacrifice that Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi went through but its still a selfless act. These days it seems like everyone feels a sense of entitlement. I deserve to be a CEO of a fortune 500 company or I deserve to land this job just because I showed up. Not a lot of people want to go through the sacrifice it takes to be successful.
In college my big sacrifice was not going to parties and getting drunk every night. Now anyone that knows me knows that I ve never been into drinking and have never done a drug in my life. When I started playing basketball I knew that to accomplish my goal (which was to play professionally) I couldn't waste time doing things that would not only hurt my game but also possibly get me in some trouble. So when my friends would go to parties I'd go to the gym and workout. The next morning I felt great while some of my teammates were still trying to justify why they accidentally wet the bed, again.
Your sacrifice can be something small or something that's on a greater scale. If you re trying to lose some weight your sacrifice might be driving past the golden arches and not right to them! If you re trying to make a sports team it might mean sacrificing some of your social life to put in extra work at the gym. Maybe you re in a relationship and your girlfriend or wife might want to go see a "notebook" type chick flick and you'd rather watch Rocky 6. No matter what the case is you're making a sacrifice.
"Figure out what you want, and then ask yourself if you're willing to put the blood, sweat, and tears in to get it"
If you can look in the mirror and say I'm doing everything in my power to reach my goals then theres no reason to hold your head down if for some reason you don't accomplish them right away. If you're not maybe your not sacrificing enough to make it happen, or maybe you're just waiting for it to happen for you, if its the latter then you have a long road ahead.
Saturday, October 16, 2010
GOALS
A person without goals is a person without direction. When you have goals you have something that keeps you motivated to stay on the path that you're on or motivates you to choose a new path that works for you. Goals can be however big or small you want. It can be anything from getting a new job by the end of the year or making sure that you finally start the term paper that is due tomorrow. Whatever your goals may be its important to have them.
When you do make a goal its important that you make it specific. Saying to yourself that you want to be a millionaire isn't enough. How are you going to go about being a millionaire? Whats your plan of attack?
Do you believe that you can accomplish it.? Next you need to write it down somewhere so that from time to time you ll be able to see it. Lastly you need to ask yourself a very important question
"Are you willing to put the work in to achieve this goal"?
Working with kids, the first thing I ask them is what their goals are for basketball. Some say that they just want to make their high school team, others say that they want to play in college, and some have even said that they want to play professional basketball. Once I know what their goals are it gives me a good idea how hard they should be working to achieve it.
If your goal is to get a new job how hard are you actually looking for one? Are you up every day scanning the classified ads, or are you sitting back and waiting for that job to find you? Be proactive in making things happen in your life. It sounds simple enough so why don't we do it? That's a question you have to ask yourself. Whats holding you back from accomplishing what you want out of life? A better question might be do you know what you want out of life? And if you do then go get it! How long are you going to wait before you start your journey?
"When your goals are your own and not someone elses they feel that much better when you complete them."
This quote I feel is another important key in making your goals come true. Don't let anyone make goals for you that you don't want yourself. Only you can live your life, so only you should be able to determine what goals you're willing to tackle and which ones you aren't.
Be honest with yourself, make your goals specific, write them down, put the work in, and most importantly make them your own.
When you do make a goal its important that you make it specific. Saying to yourself that you want to be a millionaire isn't enough. How are you going to go about being a millionaire? Whats your plan of attack?
Do you believe that you can accomplish it.? Next you need to write it down somewhere so that from time to time you ll be able to see it. Lastly you need to ask yourself a very important question
"Are you willing to put the work in to achieve this goal"?
Working with kids, the first thing I ask them is what their goals are for basketball. Some say that they just want to make their high school team, others say that they want to play in college, and some have even said that they want to play professional basketball. Once I know what their goals are it gives me a good idea how hard they should be working to achieve it.
If your goal is to get a new job how hard are you actually looking for one? Are you up every day scanning the classified ads, or are you sitting back and waiting for that job to find you? Be proactive in making things happen in your life. It sounds simple enough so why don't we do it? That's a question you have to ask yourself. Whats holding you back from accomplishing what you want out of life? A better question might be do you know what you want out of life? And if you do then go get it! How long are you going to wait before you start your journey?
"When your goals are your own and not someone elses they feel that much better when you complete them."
This quote I feel is another important key in making your goals come true. Don't let anyone make goals for you that you don't want yourself. Only you can live your life, so only you should be able to determine what goals you're willing to tackle and which ones you aren't.
Be honest with yourself, make your goals specific, write them down, put the work in, and most importantly make them your own.
Saturday, October 9, 2010
OTTO KUMETZ
Last year for the first time since November 17, 1979 I went to visit my fathers headstone. I have no idea what possessed me that day to finally try and find my father but like a lot of things in my life sometimes I "just go for it" and figure out the rest later on.
My whole life I have heard hundreds of stories about my father. I was very young when he passed away so I grew up not knowing if the memories I had of him were my own or influenced by a story my mom or one of my older brothers told me. Nonetheless I gathered that he was a great man. My father was a police officer in the city of Passaic (where we lived at the time) and walked the beat. Back then police officers would actually walk around and get to know the people in the neighborhood, and this is where my fathers "greatness" went into action. Besides being about 6ft 2 and 260lbs of all muscle my father stuck out in other ways, he was fluent in spanish, treated people fair, and cared a lot about kids.
He started a program for kids in the city of Passaic to have a way to stay off the streets. It was called "Doin it in the park". Kids would come and play different sports, they d have music playing, give out free lunches, and help people that might not have the means to survive without some assistance. His work in the community was to the point where even to this day the city of Passaic presents a Bobby Thomas award to the officer that does exemplary work in the community.
"When you re gone what legacy will you leave behind? Did you spend your whole life helping or wanting to be helped"?
I've always wondered why we never went to visit my fathers headstone, but I never asked my mom. I felt like she must of had her reasons. Knowing my mom like I do, I assume it was because she wanted to remember my father how he was. So growing up it wasn't discussed. My oldest brother Robert was 17 when my father passed. He's technically my half brother which to me just means we didn't grow up in the same house. He has done a great job filling in some of the blanks for me and It's always amazed me how similar I have become to the man that I barely knew. My way with kids and from what I ve been told the way I interact with people no matter their race, religion, etc is a lot like my dad.
So this one day I decided that I will go alone (not great at being emotional, especially in a group setting) and find my fathers headstone. I didn't know what I was going to say, I wasn't sure if I'd cry (at that point I haven't cried in more than a decade) I just knew that I would go and I guess whatever was meant to happen would happen. When I got to the cemetery there were a lot of thoughts rushing through my mind. My mom and brother went a long time ago to visit (i was away at college) and they weren't sure of the location of the headstone. So when I got there I went inside and talked to the person working and asked if they could look up where my father was buried. It took me an hour to find him, the one thing that I wasn't aware of is there was not headstone for my father. I had no idea, I wasn't told, and I kept going back and forth between the cemetery and the office to get directions. Finally the guy working (who must of thought I was a little on the slow side) revealed this information to me.
He told me that my father was right next to a headstone that read Otto Kumetz. So that's who I went to look for. The name just stuck with me as I walked in the rain. First it was the name Otto which is obviously not the most common name in the list of 100 best baby names. Then it was the thought that this was the person that has been next to my father since his death and will be forever and that's what hit me the hardest. I found Otto Kumetz a short time after I received my last set of directions and saw the space to his left and realized I was looking at where my father was buried. I didn't cry, I just stood there, part of me was angry at Otto for having a headstone and my father not having one. I wondered if Otto knew who he was next to. If he had any idea how great of a man my father was, and out of nowhere I got choked up and a tear came down my cheek. I only stayed for about 20 minutes or so (once I found my way) I mumbled something to my father, got in my car, and started driving home.
On the ride back I turned off the radio and thought about my dad and also Otto. They are roommates for eternity and I know that if my dad ever met Otto they d be friends. It seems like my dad just had that way about him. I got home and looked for Otto online and found some things about an artist etc (obviously with no clue if it was the Otto I was looking for) I'm planning on going down again at some point to say hello to both my father and Otto.
I feel like we don't have a lot of time on this earth, and our parents usually have about a twenty five year head start on us when we arrive. I consider myself so lucky to of had my mom for this long, and despite not having my father around my siblings and I grew up with a lot of love in our house. I don't think a day should go by that you don't tell your parents you love them, because one day you wont be able to.
My whole life I have heard hundreds of stories about my father. I was very young when he passed away so I grew up not knowing if the memories I had of him were my own or influenced by a story my mom or one of my older brothers told me. Nonetheless I gathered that he was a great man. My father was a police officer in the city of Passaic (where we lived at the time) and walked the beat. Back then police officers would actually walk around and get to know the people in the neighborhood, and this is where my fathers "greatness" went into action. Besides being about 6ft 2 and 260lbs of all muscle my father stuck out in other ways, he was fluent in spanish, treated people fair, and cared a lot about kids.
He started a program for kids in the city of Passaic to have a way to stay off the streets. It was called "Doin it in the park". Kids would come and play different sports, they d have music playing, give out free lunches, and help people that might not have the means to survive without some assistance. His work in the community was to the point where even to this day the city of Passaic presents a Bobby Thomas award to the officer that does exemplary work in the community.
"When you re gone what legacy will you leave behind? Did you spend your whole life helping or wanting to be helped"?
I've always wondered why we never went to visit my fathers headstone, but I never asked my mom. I felt like she must of had her reasons. Knowing my mom like I do, I assume it was because she wanted to remember my father how he was. So growing up it wasn't discussed. My oldest brother Robert was 17 when my father passed. He's technically my half brother which to me just means we didn't grow up in the same house. He has done a great job filling in some of the blanks for me and It's always amazed me how similar I have become to the man that I barely knew. My way with kids and from what I ve been told the way I interact with people no matter their race, religion, etc is a lot like my dad.
So this one day I decided that I will go alone (not great at being emotional, especially in a group setting) and find my fathers headstone. I didn't know what I was going to say, I wasn't sure if I'd cry (at that point I haven't cried in more than a decade) I just knew that I would go and I guess whatever was meant to happen would happen. When I got to the cemetery there were a lot of thoughts rushing through my mind. My mom and brother went a long time ago to visit (i was away at college) and they weren't sure of the location of the headstone. So when I got there I went inside and talked to the person working and asked if they could look up where my father was buried. It took me an hour to find him, the one thing that I wasn't aware of is there was not headstone for my father. I had no idea, I wasn't told, and I kept going back and forth between the cemetery and the office to get directions. Finally the guy working (who must of thought I was a little on the slow side) revealed this information to me.
He told me that my father was right next to a headstone that read Otto Kumetz. So that's who I went to look for. The name just stuck with me as I walked in the rain. First it was the name Otto which is obviously not the most common name in the list of 100 best baby names. Then it was the thought that this was the person that has been next to my father since his death and will be forever and that's what hit me the hardest. I found Otto Kumetz a short time after I received my last set of directions and saw the space to his left and realized I was looking at where my father was buried. I didn't cry, I just stood there, part of me was angry at Otto for having a headstone and my father not having one. I wondered if Otto knew who he was next to. If he had any idea how great of a man my father was, and out of nowhere I got choked up and a tear came down my cheek. I only stayed for about 20 minutes or so (once I found my way) I mumbled something to my father, got in my car, and started driving home.
On the ride back I turned off the radio and thought about my dad and also Otto. They are roommates for eternity and I know that if my dad ever met Otto they d be friends. It seems like my dad just had that way about him. I got home and looked for Otto online and found some things about an artist etc (obviously with no clue if it was the Otto I was looking for) I'm planning on going down again at some point to say hello to both my father and Otto.
I feel like we don't have a lot of time on this earth, and our parents usually have about a twenty five year head start on us when we arrive. I consider myself so lucky to of had my mom for this long, and despite not having my father around my siblings and I grew up with a lot of love in our house. I don't think a day should go by that you don't tell your parents you love them, because one day you wont be able to.
Saturday, October 2, 2010
BEING YOU
Sometimes I wonder if there was ever a time in the history of the world when being yourself was ok. Now when I say this you have to understand that I mean being who you want to be and now how people expect you to be. Recently we have had kids both younger and older commit suicide because they were ridiculed for being themselves. They didn't fit in with the norm. So other kids that did treated them like they were outcast, harassing them to the point where these kids felt they had nothing left on this earth to live for. Now by no means do I agree with the way these kids handled the situation. I always feel that theres a way to get through tough times, and taking your life is not one of them. But imagine how bad these kids must of been harassed to feel that they didn't have any other options.
Our society tells us whats cool and whats not and also whose cool and whose not. When you watch a movie the "cool guy" isn't the kid who is in the marching band, or the one that keeps to himself and gets excellent grades, no the cool guy is the jock, or the most popular kid in school. The cool girl is the petite and pretty cheerleader that knows everyone and loves to party. Whats the last movie, t.v show, or commercial that you' ve seen where the "cool girl" is overweight or not what society sees as attractive?
Growing up my mom has always told me to treat people the way you want to be treated. Now she didn't say treat "cool people" the way you wanted to be treated or "attractive people" that way but people in general. So I ve never put myself in a stereotype. I realized at an early age not to care what other people thought about me or who I was friends with. I judged people for who they were not who they were perceived to be. I didn't allow "pack mentality" to affect me when choosing friends and because of that I grew up with a great mix of people in my life from all different backgrounds and ethnicity's.
"Conformity is the killer of individuality"
It's important for us to strive to be unique in a world that promotes conformity. It's also equally important to recognize that we're all different, and in my opinion that's whats so special about the human race. We're all unique in our own way. The most important letter in the word unique is the "U", because that's what its about. It's about you and will be until you leave this earth. We don't have an eternity on this planet so why would you waste time being anything else but yourself every day?
Our society tells us whats cool and whats not and also whose cool and whose not. When you watch a movie the "cool guy" isn't the kid who is in the marching band, or the one that keeps to himself and gets excellent grades, no the cool guy is the jock, or the most popular kid in school. The cool girl is the petite and pretty cheerleader that knows everyone and loves to party. Whats the last movie, t.v show, or commercial that you' ve seen where the "cool girl" is overweight or not what society sees as attractive?
Growing up my mom has always told me to treat people the way you want to be treated. Now she didn't say treat "cool people" the way you wanted to be treated or "attractive people" that way but people in general. So I ve never put myself in a stereotype. I realized at an early age not to care what other people thought about me or who I was friends with. I judged people for who they were not who they were perceived to be. I didn't allow "pack mentality" to affect me when choosing friends and because of that I grew up with a great mix of people in my life from all different backgrounds and ethnicity's.
"Conformity is the killer of individuality"
It's important for us to strive to be unique in a world that promotes conformity. It's also equally important to recognize that we're all different, and in my opinion that's whats so special about the human race. We're all unique in our own way. The most important letter in the word unique is the "U", because that's what its about. It's about you and will be until you leave this earth. We don't have an eternity on this planet so why would you waste time being anything else but yourself every day?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)