As a basketball coach I ve used this phrase with my players a million times. During conditioning, before a tough game, right in the middle of a grueling practice etc etc. I ve preached how the mind has to be shut off sometimes for us to be successful. Because during those tough times the mind sometimes sends us negative messages. It tells us to quit. It tells us that what we re doing is to tough. It tells us that what we re doing can't be accomplished. And as we all know when the mind goes the body follows.
I tell my players that sports a lot of times mimics life. In both you have different struggles and heartaches you have to get over in order to become succesful or to be happy.
Mental toughness is needed on not just a day to day basis but sometimes a minute to minute one. Recovering addicts have to use mental toughness every second of their lives to stop themselves from going back to old habits. How mentally tough does one have to be after losing a loved one, or being layed off? They're a million scenarios in our lives where we have to be strong mentally.
The mind is such a powerful tool. When its working for us its a beautiful thing, we feel great about who we are and what we re doing, we re positive and we dont let anything get in our way. When its working against us it's the opposite, it can be destructive and it could put us in an unhealthy place both mentally and physically.
"Once you let negative thoughts infiltrate your mind its going to take a whole army to get them out."
It all starts with our thoughts. Mental toughness can be learned. It's not something you have to be born with. Each time you push yourself through something difficult, that you didnt think you could do, you re building up your mental toughness.
The key is during times of hardship, remember the moments where you ve overcome something difficult in the past. Then you can look at the current situation and say to yourself, I know i can get over this because I ve dealt with tough situations before, and although this one might be different it's still going to take the same mental toughness as the last one to get through it.
Build up your mental toughness by every obstacle you overcome and that will make the next one a little bit easier to deal with.
Saturday, August 28, 2010
Saturday, August 21, 2010
LETTING GO
What are you holding on to? More importantly why can't you let it go? Is it a bad relationship? A dead end job? A negative way of thinking? A harmful addiction? An argument with a family member, or friend that has hurt what used to be a strong bond? Whatever the case may be why does it seem so hard for us to just "let go" of the things that are holding us back?
One reason could be fear. What if I leave this relationship and cant find someone else? How will I ever find another job in this economy? What will I do without drugs or alcohol? What if my father/mother doesn't accept my apology? Fear prevents us from taking that first step. It raises all these negative questions in our heads when we're trying to "let go".
In my opinion we are all capable of doing this. Just like any other fear you have to confront it head on. You have to have the courage to take that first step. "The only thing holding you back are your excuses". Think about that for a second. All the negative thoughts that arise in your head when you re thinking about taking that first step are excuses. And those excuses cause us to not change our situation.
Understanding that we can't start any journey without taking the first step is one of the most important things to remember when trying to "let go". And that's what letting go is, its a journey. Because even when we do "let go" its a long road we travel to make sure that those negative thoughts never arrive in our heads again.
So take that first step. Realize that you can "let go" its just a matter of allowing ourselves to actually do it.
One reason could be fear. What if I leave this relationship and cant find someone else? How will I ever find another job in this economy? What will I do without drugs or alcohol? What if my father/mother doesn't accept my apology? Fear prevents us from taking that first step. It raises all these negative questions in our heads when we're trying to "let go".
In my opinion we are all capable of doing this. Just like any other fear you have to confront it head on. You have to have the courage to take that first step. "The only thing holding you back are your excuses". Think about that for a second. All the negative thoughts that arise in your head when you re thinking about taking that first step are excuses. And those excuses cause us to not change our situation.
Understanding that we can't start any journey without taking the first step is one of the most important things to remember when trying to "let go". And that's what letting go is, its a journey. Because even when we do "let go" its a long road we travel to make sure that those negative thoughts never arrive in our heads again.
So take that first step. Realize that you can "let go" its just a matter of allowing ourselves to actually do it.
Saturday, August 14, 2010
ADVERSITY
The first thing we tend to say when adversity rears its ugly head is "WHY ME"? We feel like theres a dark cloud following us around and the universe has decided to purposely make sure that our lives are miserable.
Instead of saying "WHY ME" why don't we say "WHAT NOW". Why do we waste time worrying about all of our problems, instead of using that time to find solutions.
I feel that we are what we believe. If we believe that things will never get better then they wont. If we believe that the problem is transitory and will pass then eventually it will. One of my favorite quotes is "At some point the storm will pass, and when it does remember that you got through it in one piece, because there will be more to come."
To me that quote serves 2 purposes. One it lets us know that no matter how bad it gets our problems will eventually pass, and two we can use our experience of dealing with adversity to help us combat future setbacks that might arise.
The easiest thing in the world to do is quit. It takes no effort. I ve seen it first hand, not just in my coaching profession, or in my classroom, but in life. Friends and associates that have made up their mind that things wont get better so they don't try to improve their situation.
Life is only as hard as you let it become. You see men and women that come back from war missing limbs that not only enter marathons but complete them. What if they decided to give up? That should serves as inspiration to us all, and make us look at our problems and ask the question, is what we re going through really that bad?
The answer usually is no. Theres always someone that has it worst than you, maybe the only difference is they don't recognize it.
Instead of saying "WHY ME" why don't we say "WHAT NOW". Why do we waste time worrying about all of our problems, instead of using that time to find solutions.
I feel that we are what we believe. If we believe that things will never get better then they wont. If we believe that the problem is transitory and will pass then eventually it will. One of my favorite quotes is "At some point the storm will pass, and when it does remember that you got through it in one piece, because there will be more to come."
To me that quote serves 2 purposes. One it lets us know that no matter how bad it gets our problems will eventually pass, and two we can use our experience of dealing with adversity to help us combat future setbacks that might arise.
The easiest thing in the world to do is quit. It takes no effort. I ve seen it first hand, not just in my coaching profession, or in my classroom, but in life. Friends and associates that have made up their mind that things wont get better so they don't try to improve their situation.
Life is only as hard as you let it become. You see men and women that come back from war missing limbs that not only enter marathons but complete them. What if they decided to give up? That should serves as inspiration to us all, and make us look at our problems and ask the question, is what we re going through really that bad?
The answer usually is no. Theres always someone that has it worst than you, maybe the only difference is they don't recognize it.
Friday, August 6, 2010
SELF BELIEF
The most important thing for us to understand is that no one will believe in you if you do not believe in yourself. Its impossible to be successful in life without believing that you will be. Self belief sounds like a simple enough concept so why is it that so many of us doubt ourselves or doubt what we re capable of doing?
Usually self doubt occurs because of past failures, fear, or people that have been telling you your whole life that you re not capable of doing something. Then what do we do? We believe that we re not good enough, or we don't have enough time, or we're not smart enough, and our confidence dips to the point where its non existent.
The first time I ever picked up a basketball was around my junior year in high school. I was absolutely terrible at the sport at that time, the only thing i had going for me was my work ethic. I sat JV as a junior and my senior year in high school I barely played on a team that went 4-19 (that's 4 wins and 19 losses) Out of the kindness of his heart a local college coach told me that I can come and workout with some recruits that were looking to attend the school in the fall. We played for about 2 hours and by no means did i do anything to stick out. After the workout me and my mom went to the coaches office to talk about me possibly trying to "walk on" to the team (no money is usually given to walk ons/a walk on is basically auditioning for the last spot on the bench) Before the coach could say a word the first thing my mom asked him was "How many players that have went to this school played in the NBA" I almost sunk out of my chair and under the door, that's how embarrassed I was, i knew i wasn't good and on top of that i knew the coach knew that i wasn't that good, but here is my mom all 5 feet 2 inches of her asking the coach about the NBA.
I never forgot that day. It took me a couple of days to really grasp what happened in that office. My mom had more confidence in me than i did in myself. She believed in me so much (despite knowing i wasn't that good at the time) that she asked the coach about me playing professionally. From that point on I told myself that i would always believe in myself more than anyone else. Eventually i transferred schools and got a full scholarship to play basketball (something that i doubt anyone thought that I was capable of in high school/well besides my mom)
Now believing is not the end all be all. You cant sit in your house and just believe that you re great without taking any action. I worked out 5 hours a day everyday, and I loved the game of basketball. So my formula for success would be this:
SELF BELIEF + PASSION + WORK ETHIC = SUCCESS.
Every component in that equation has to be there if not then you re selling yourself short. Believe in yourself and you ll see how easily others will believe in you also.
Usually self doubt occurs because of past failures, fear, or people that have been telling you your whole life that you re not capable of doing something. Then what do we do? We believe that we re not good enough, or we don't have enough time, or we're not smart enough, and our confidence dips to the point where its non existent.
The first time I ever picked up a basketball was around my junior year in high school. I was absolutely terrible at the sport at that time, the only thing i had going for me was my work ethic. I sat JV as a junior and my senior year in high school I barely played on a team that went 4-19 (that's 4 wins and 19 losses) Out of the kindness of his heart a local college coach told me that I can come and workout with some recruits that were looking to attend the school in the fall. We played for about 2 hours and by no means did i do anything to stick out. After the workout me and my mom went to the coaches office to talk about me possibly trying to "walk on" to the team (no money is usually given to walk ons/a walk on is basically auditioning for the last spot on the bench) Before the coach could say a word the first thing my mom asked him was "How many players that have went to this school played in the NBA" I almost sunk out of my chair and under the door, that's how embarrassed I was, i knew i wasn't good and on top of that i knew the coach knew that i wasn't that good, but here is my mom all 5 feet 2 inches of her asking the coach about the NBA.
I never forgot that day. It took me a couple of days to really grasp what happened in that office. My mom had more confidence in me than i did in myself. She believed in me so much (despite knowing i wasn't that good at the time) that she asked the coach about me playing professionally. From that point on I told myself that i would always believe in myself more than anyone else. Eventually i transferred schools and got a full scholarship to play basketball (something that i doubt anyone thought that I was capable of in high school/well besides my mom)
Now believing is not the end all be all. You cant sit in your house and just believe that you re great without taking any action. I worked out 5 hours a day everyday, and I loved the game of basketball. So my formula for success would be this:
SELF BELIEF + PASSION + WORK ETHIC = SUCCESS.
Every component in that equation has to be there if not then you re selling yourself short. Believe in yourself and you ll see how easily others will believe in you also.
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